When Princesses Grow Up...

"The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ..."   Romans 8:16,17

Some day your princesses will grow up . . .

I have two daughters. They came out of womb with the notion they were born for royalty.  No one told them this.  At about 18 months, my oldest daughter started to gravitate to everything pink and fluffy.  Before she ever saw a Disney princess or wore a costume, she put left over fabric around her and danced around saying, “Look at me mommy! I’m a princess!”

When they were little, my girls used to dress up in the most frilly, sparkly princess dresses and twirl around.  Nothing was too pink or too glittery to ever wear.  They would change their girly outfits from our well-stocked “dress up” box every hour.  Setting up tea parties, make believe lands and fashion shows were a daily occurrence.  Every once in a while, they would even try to put an outfit on their brothers.  This was regular life in the home of princesses.

I believe each of us is born a princess.  God made us to be a daughter of the King.  It is innate.  Before we ever see a Disney movie or a picture of Cinderella, our girls know they are made for greatness.  God has given them this gift of a purpose and a plan on this earth – our royal heritage. 

What a huge blessing and privilege it has been for our family to be given the stewardship of the Princess Parables ministry.  My girls were eight and five when the books first came out, and they couldn’t wait to dress up and help mommy at the booth.  But times change and our girls grow up!

In the last couple of months, my almost thirteen year old has decided being a princess is not for her.  She is maturing and likes to wear jeans with plaid shirts and Converse tennis shoes instead of lace and frills.  She wants a modern bedroom, not a princess bedroom.  She has asked to not dress as a princess at the conventions anymore and not have her identity be “a princess”.

While this was a huge blow to me and it has taken me a while to get used to, I can see God at work.  Even though it is our family ministry, my daughter can take on other jobs of service, and she doesn’t have to “dress up” anymore.  We are still working on her role exactly, but she does need to grow and figure out who she is.  And more importantly, who she is in Christ!  I need to keep my relationship with her whole because she is my heart and my love.

She will always be a princess on the inside.  She is a daughter of the true King and is created for greatness. God has His perfect plan for her.  She is still gracious, loving, kind, willing to serve, excellent in character and poised - even if she doesn’t wear a crown.  I am so grateful for the many years we have had this experience together.  I just honestly never saw the end coming.  I didn’t know one day it would be “her last” day to “dress up” at a convention.  Luckily for my heart, I still have one daughter (for the time being) who likes the Princess Parables.

So last weekend, I listened to my girls and we remodeled their “Princess” Bedroom.  Gone are the pink and purple walls. Here instead is a contemporary gray and turquoise palette. We have removed the case of porcelain dolls and tucked away the American Girl Dolls.  The princess beds have been traded for modern white ones.  And a sleek white IKEA desk has taken the place of stuffed animals and toys.  

As much as I would have liked them to stay little and be princesses forever, it is just not God’s plan.  I love the women they are becoming and the friends they are to me.  Yes, we have our “moments” in these young adult years, but they are a growing time for all of us.  I can’t wait to see all God has planned for their lives.

My advice to you moms of young princesses:  ENJOY!  If your girl wants to wear her princess dress to the grocery store, let her.  If they invite you to a tea party, go! I wish I had more often.  Take lots of pictures.  I realize now in the many of the “normal” moments of life, I never took pictures.  Some day, it will be their “last” and they will not stand up and announce it.  Enjoy every moment!

I am going to miss the frilly dresses, pink frosting and glitter everywhere, for certain, but I welcome these new grown up young ladies God has blessed me with!  It is a new season!

 I guess I will just have to wait for grand baby princesses to spoil!

Jackie's Journey: the Longest Journey

  “Faithful is He who calls you, who will also do it.” I Thessalonians 5: 24

How many years have you been married?

 Does fifty years sound outrageous?

  Marriage is the proving ground for developing our loyalty toward God.

My parents were married 74 years and my husband’s parents were married 47 years, so 50 years does not seem inordinately long to either of us…

I met my Prince at university, and if you were to ask our college friends, they would be astounded that we are celebrating our Golden Wedding Anniversary!

Most did not give us two years!  Ralph and I are polar opposites in almost every way.  However, we had the one element in marriage that will guarantee longevity…we were both individually committed to “burn out” serving God wherever He led us. My husband’s godly zeal and spiritual leadership in our home has been preeminent and a constant for the last 50 years! 

I have been blessed with a man who has loved me unconditionally, and when he said “for better or worse” he meant it.  We have weathered the storms of life with near death experiences more than once, and his loyalty to God and me is noteworthy.  Ralph and I continue to learn and grow together.  “Deference living” - rather than compromise - is a key to our taking our two wills and finding harmony in God’s will.

Ralph’s name means “bold counselor” and that he is! He is a man of motion and direction.  He was once told he is an ”afflicter of the comfortable and a comfort to the afflicted!”  I could write a book with all his wise one-liners, biblical formulas and scriptural definitions.  His capacity to see things in Scripture and interpret them from the inside out to give a total new look to a familiar verse is uncanny! 

Christian missionaries are people whose passion is to make the Lord Jesus known to the whole world.  They are completely under the command of King Jesus (Ralph often rolls out of bed, stands at attention and salutes heavenward, committing his day!), and they will go anywhere, under any circumstances, for no pay, with poor living conditions and food, even though no one ever notices.  They know their Sovereign is watching every minute, and that is the only reward and joy they seek…a true missionary is someone who will risk everything for the sake of the lost of this world…this is my husband!

We have a precious heritage that is a loving reminder of our loyalty to God and our responsibility into the third and forth generations.

God's faithfulness...!

Our lives are based on Proverbs 3:5,6: Trusting the Lord with all our hearts and allowing Him to direct our paths. Matt. 6:33:  “Seeking first the King of heaven” and allowing Him to supply everything we need for life and godliness.

We are convinced that He takes the weak and confounds the mighty.  We are proof of His faithfulness…I Corinthians 2:1-2 speaks my heart, like Paul’s, when he says, “…I did not come to you with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God.  For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified.  I came to you in weakness and fear and with much trembling. My message was not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom but God’s power”.

If we had these 50 years to do over again, we would like to serve more and better, as we were bought with the price of His blood.  Romans 6: 16-18 says, “We were slaves of sin and now are slaves of righteousness”.   We work daily on being better slaves!

Have you found your marriage to be a proving ground

for your faithfulness to God? 

However impressive or challenging your marriage may be, 

it is the genuine proof of the degree of your loyalty to God.

All Or Nothing Kind of Girl!

For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 2 Peter 1:5-7

I tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl. 

I am either “all in” or “terribly off”!   My whole life, modeled to me by my father, has been an ebb and flow of times completely disciplined to times of complete splurging.  Whether it is exercise, quiet times, eating, having fun, or studying, I can look back over my life and see this “generational” thread.  I can see the blessing and the curse of this way of living.

This summer I have been eating what I call the “Cancer Scare Diet”.  This form of eating is extreme, but has given me fantastic results in the past.  Not only that, but I look healthy, feel good and have lost weight!  There is a silver lining!  I eat most of the loving food God gave us to eat – minus, of course, wonderful fruit (too much sugar).  So I eat loads of veggies, seeds and nuts.  Kind of boring, I know.  But my taste buds have changed and it all does taste good to me.  Recently, I have added back in fish and occasionally white meat because I need amino acids for a treatment I have been doing.  So basically some would say I am eating “The Caveman Diet” or “The Adam and Eve diet”. 

Last Saturday after four months of food boredom and feeling a bit sorry for myself, I broke down and ate whatever sounded good to me.  I had potato chips, Pirate Booty, peanut butter, a health chocolate shake, chicken sandwich meat, and crackers.  A lot of all of this – in one sitting!  No sugar though!  I lacked self-control to the point of making myself physically ill.  I was a glutton, but… just … could … not … eat … another … vegetable!

The very next day, I paid for it – BIG time!  I got food poisoning.  For a full 24 hours, I felt the effects of my eating.  I could barely walk and I could barely make it to the bathroom quick enough – if you get the gist!  I saw the effects first hand of my lack of self-control and eating spree.  I had to miss a couple of fun activities with the kids and stay close to home.

I had been tempted by all the amazing food in my pantry the rest of my family eats!

I lost my will power – my self-control. 

Everything in me knew better, but I didn’t care.  Do you ever feel like that?  About food, money, thoughts, words, etc.?  James 4:17 says “To one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin”.  Yes, I sinned and in a word was a true glutton – one of the seven deadly sins.

Now, some of you, friends, would say to me, I am being a bit over-the-top.  I can have a day off now and then. Here is what the Lord taught me through this.  On this day, I made a choice.  I choose the things not good for my body, His temple.  My choices will not help my current “condition”.  I chose something I know as “wrong” and with the choice came consequences.  God in His infinite wisdom created “natural consequences” as a form of teaching us. 

Natural consequences become the helpful teaching time with my children, as well.  We have been reaping the benefits of this God-given parenting tool.  If you cut your hair with the play scissors, your bangs may take months to grow out.  If you take your iPad out of the case and it drops on the ground, it will break.  If you don’t take a jacket and it rains, you will get wet.  If you forget to study, you will get a failing grade on the test.  And so on . . .

So in my situation, I am the child and God is my Father.  If you eat the foods not designed for your body, they will do harm and you will be sick.

Did I learn my lesson?  Absolutely!  I am back eating veggies again.  I just decided to try to get some variation so I don’t get too bored, and this will help ease my temptations.  But during this time, I also heard God clearly that He wants me to heal.  My body is an amazing creation He made to heal itself.  I am standing on those promises.

I can see why self-control is in the long list of fruit of the Spirit.  Being an all or nothing kind of girl, I know I need all of the fruit to work together.  When I have self-control, I am patient, which makes me kinder and more gentle.  This leads me to be more loving to others (and myself) and helps me focus on goodness.  Bringing about a sense of joy and faith to usher me into the God-given peace I so desperately want.  And it all starts with self-control for me!

So in what ways have you lost your self-control?

What did you do to “bounce” back into the fruit of the Spirit?

Jackie's Journey: Final Farewell??

Kim, my companion, in those last days!

“On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.  Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”

Psalm 63: 6,7,8. 

The Darien is an earthy, steamy environment of thick rainforest.  The humidity was thick enough to slice and the heat was barely bearable.  With our return to Pucuro after my surgery came the responsibilities that we had left three months prior.  Our partners, Jay and Sue Gunsteens and their family, had gone on furlough and returned to the States. My strength had not returned and I tired very easily.  I started resting in the afternoon and within a few months I was having difficulty getting up. 

Ralph had fastened a battery tape recorder to the wall above the bed so I could listen to the Book of Psalms.  They brought me great comfort as I listened to David in his distress and God’s continual deliverance.  God became my refuge and consolation in ways I had never experienced before.  The isolation from civilization, the absence of medical convenience and the sense I was dying was exchanged for finding Him more than enough to meet all my apprehension.

How does God meet you in a tight spot?

 The daily opening of the clinic, delivering of babies in the night, homeschooling Christina, the care of Kimberly, the linguistic work and the daily opportunity to share Christ… all brought profound joy.  In spite of my physical state, my circumstances brought life-lessons I would never have recognized, experienced or understood apart from this plan God had for me.

“If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses?  If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?

Jeremiah 12: 5; Proverbs 24:10

We kept thinking if we could just persevere a few more months we would see our Kuna family in a spiritual place where we were comfortable leaving for an extended furlough and seek medical help.  We did not want both missionary families among our tribe to be on furlough at the same time.

The people would come and sit with me as I lay in bed.  Nangel, the village midwife, grandma, and precious new Christian, came daily and I looked forward to her visit.  One day she kept saying to the other women in our bedroom, “Purkwis tani!”.  Usually, that phrase is reserved for those who are dying.  It is translated, “Death comes!”  I remember thinking…it had been over a year since the surgery and I must look bad!  As a young mother, death seemed illusive, an impossibility…until my health failed and God began to speak to me gently, resolutely and unmistakably through His Word…

Did Nangel see something I couldn’t? 

A few weeks later a couple on the field committee, Don and Pat Barger, came in by plane for a day visit. The look on their faces when they entered our home told me that what Nangel had said might be true!  They immediately encouraged us to leave the village with them and to take an early furlough and get medical help in the States.  I had one small round mirror interior, and I had watched my face become thin and gaunt over the months, but I did not realize how tiny I was all over!

Waiting in Panama City for our flight to the States

I will forever be grateful for their divine intervention in our lives that day.  After a few days and friendly persuasion, we packed a few things, said our good-byes and headed to Scripps Diagnostic Hospital in the States.

As the plane lifted into the sky, I caught a glimpse of the entire village waving to us in what could have been our final farewell. 

Do you hear His voice daily speaking to you through Scripture?

Gently?  Resolutely?  Unmistakably? 

Are you listening?

Are You a Fun Mom?

I think I used to be fun a very long time ago, maybe before I was a mom. One of the reasons my husband married me in the first place was because he says I am fun (that was his #1 reason).  But as the years progressed and we had more kids, I changed.  My hormones were up and down. I slept less and took on more stress. I don't think I am fun anymore. 

With the kids, I often feel like the referee, the teacher, the cook, the maid, and the taxi.  Somehow it drains all the FUN out of me!

But I want to be a fun mom!  I always have wanted that . . .

After cancer, my attitude has been transformed.  I take each day that God has given me. I don't wait for the “next time” or when things might be “perfect”.  I just dive in because today might be my last.  Today might be your last. 

You just never know God's plans for you.  I think it is sad that it took cancer to get me back to being a more in-the-moment kind of mom.  One thing, I am no longer a bystander.  I now do so many more things than I used to, instead of just sitting around and watching others do them.

For instance, our Bible Study group, Elements, heads down to the beach each Tuesday with all our kids.  Each week I coax the ladies I am with into the ocean with me for a half hour.  One of them has not been in the ocean for 15 years!  We take in the waves, talk and shiver in the chilly Pacific waters.  I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. Today I asked the girls how old they felt jumping over the waves.  "12", one of them said.  Ah, we are living life! 

Now there are a bunch of health benefits to going in the ocean every week, which I just have to mention here.

First, the minerals in the sea air decrease stress and increase a sense of well-being.  Salt in water preserves the melatonin, tryptamine and serotonin levels in your brain.  This helps with fighting off depression or improving your sense of well-being. Going in the ocean water with your back to the breaking waves is like a reset of your emotional state.

Second, studies indicate that the minerals contained in the ocean’s water help with arthritis, psoriasis and even depression.  Other skin diseases, such as rosacea, eczema and rashes from plant allergies or heat are positively affected by the ocean water.  We decided today that we felt our skin was softer from our once-a-week plunges.

Third, ocean water contains iodine, which boosts thyroid function and improves the immune system.  When you are in seawater, the amount of oxygen carried throughout your bloodstream is improved and more nutrients are carried through your bloodstream to fight off free radicals. Ocean water also improves circulation of blood to organs.

Next, the swells and currents in the water act as a lymphatic massage to your whole body.  Being in the ocean water for a half hour is just like paying $80 for an expensive spa lymph massage.  Only God could know what our bodies need and provide a free alternative for our health.

Lastly, air particles break apart releasing ions into the atmosphere when the waves break.  Some scientists claim that sea air contains an abundance of negatively charged ions. These Ions are so good for us! In today’s society, we have too many positive ions in our lives.  You may know positive ions by another name – free radicals.  Because electricity, computers, TV and electronics are all sources of positive ions, it is easy to see why we have a shortage of negative ions.  Increasing our exposure to negative ions has many health benefits including enhancing the immune system, increasing alertness and improving concentration.  The negative ions from the ocean also help to reset your immune system and give you energy.

The biggest benefit is that my kids come and hang out with me in the water.  At least my girls do. So I am writing this for all the moms out there who want to stay in your beach chair this summer (like I have done so many years in a row!).  I had many excuses - I didn't want to get wet, it was too cold, I didn't want to have anyone see my overweight body, I didn't want to have to shower . . .  and so on.  JUST DO IT!  Whatever it is, experience God's creation with your kids!  Get in the ocean, the river, the lake - take that hike, jump in the pool with your kids . . . experience life!  This one life God has given you!  You never know when it will change - your kids will grow, your health may deteriorate - do it now before it's too late! 

The fun mommy in all of us is just waiting to come out. You never know – you might get healthier while you're at it!  Come join me this summer  . . . your kids, and probably your husband, will love it! Just picture our God in heaven smiling down watching you enjoy the things He made for you!  What could be better?

You shall go out in JOY and be led forth in PEACE"  Is 55:12

Jackie's Journey: Inexplicable Agony Part 2

“When God wants to bring more power into your life, He brings more pressure.” (A.B. Simpson)

My husband’s increasing pain with no resolve had become a constant pre-occupation.  Pressure, by definition, is a continuing opportunity for others to observe our true character.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, works for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” II Corinthians 4: 17

Our appointment at the Center for Disease Control was early, and to get into the lab, we needed to walk past a zoo-like structure that enclosed a number of caged odiferous monkeys. 

They were loud and aggressive as we made our way to the foyer.

We were greeted by two of the staff that led us down a long corridor to a small room with jars of unspeakable contents lining the counters.  After a series of tests and reviewing the hospital reports, these research doctors, who had been so kind to us, both had smiles of success on their faces. 

“As incredible as this may seem, Ralph”, they started their explanation, “somehow, you have broken into a cycle only seen in animals, specifically horses.  You have strongyloides, a parasite that burrows into the intestinal wall… and eats it!  The reason the Coca-Cola gave you relief is because the parasite would not burrow its head in those few moments because they feed on sugar.  So you were able to sense a temporary relief. This particular parasite is literally eating your intestinal wall!!” 

Looking for a source of entry, one doctor asked to see Ralph’s feet.  Ralph’s heels were deeply cracked and the parasite had entered into his system directly from the contaminated soil in the Choco settlement he had recently visited!  As interested as Ralph was in the entire explanation, all he really wanted to know was “how do we kill the creatures?!” 

The good news was that there was a treatment…but…it was for horses!  The bad news was they did not know if it would work on a human…or kill him instead?!  They were very careful to explain that under no circumstances was he to take more than one teaspoon a day because the medicine was so toxic. 

We needed to stay in Panama City another week for them to run a last test to see if the medicine had worked.  After three days and no relief, Ralph looked at the girls, and me, and said,  “It’s me or the bugs!”  He, instantly, took the bottle, turned it upside down, emptying its entirety into his mouth!  My heart started pounding…

Who does that???

He seemed fine for the first hour or so, and I breathed a sigh of relief.  Then, abruptly, he became agitated and turned into the Hulk!  He grabbed my arm and yelled something unintelligible.  His wild eyes looked like the man who had broken into the house a few days earlier! 

 What had he done?!

This strong, gentle man had become forceful and alarming.

Fortunately, we were still in the city, but it was too late to call the doctors.  When morning broke we loaded into the borrowed vehicle and headed back to the lab to see if Ralph had done something irreparable!  He, however, was excited to let the doctors know that the massive dosage of the toxic vial had made him a crazy man …but not killed him.  The real issue: Did it kill the parasites?!  

“Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it?  Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?  Why should any living man complain…”  Lamentations 3: 37-39

Needless to say, the doctors were horrified and shocked that he had taken the whole bottle, but were grateful that he had survived!  They were anxious to test him for the parasite.   We sat silently waiting for the test results.  If the parasites lived through the toxic exposure, there was no other treatment known to help us.

They quietly re-entered the room …gleaming!

Ralph had lived… and the bugs had died!!

During those days of excruciating pain, never once did Ralph complain.  He was not suffering…just ask him!   He gave thanks continually and even at his worst, submitted to the will of God.

“The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm” Psalm 19: 23 

Pressure is the great tester of our spiritual condition…  “The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.”  (William Booth) 

How do you respond to pressure?

Two Lies and One Truth

Do you ever wake up at 3:00 a.m. with restless thoughts??

Recently, I have had some health opportunities . . .

In 2011, I had breast cancer and God allowed me to be a medical miracle.  In the last five months, my cancer tumor markers have been going up.  I have tried everything I know on this earth to bring them back down (detoxes, eating raw, holistic intervention, etc).  They continue to climb . . .

As you can imagine, all of this has taken over my thought life.  I play through the scenarios in my mind and I just can’t let it go.  The What-If game plays nightly on my own special channel.  My nights (even though I know better) are caught up in worrying about the future at 3:00 a.m.

As I seek the Lord, in my worried state, I begin to see TWO LIES the Evil One throws at me:

1. You show worry and be anxious because somehow that will change the outcome of your days.
2. You can control the future and this current health challenge by every thing you do.

Lies, I tell you, lies of the enemy!!!  They come screaming in the middle of the night and I believe them in the moment.  “The cancer has spread.” “You won’t be here to see your kids graduate or get married” “You will have to do chemotherapy and get really sick”.  These are the voices I hear at 3:00 a.m.!

Here is THE TRUTH that replaces the lies!

God says: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). God takes care of the birds of the air and grass of the field (Matt. 6:26-30) Why don’t I think He is currently, in this health challenge, taking care of me?  He IS!!! 

God is teaching me so much about trusting Him TODAY!  Right in the midst of these thoughts, He is there.  God knew I would be here.  He knew I would have these opportunities and this given time in history.  Yet, he wrote these verses to encourage ME and YOU, in our moments, just like these.  My job is not to control things, but to rest and trust in God. 

God surrounds me with prayer warriors who lift me up during these difficult times.  They are all true angels here on earth.  I try to express how much it means to be prayed for, but no words can explain the blessing these prayer warriors are to me.  Since they have started praying for me, I have been sleeping through the night – every night.  Find yourself some prayer warriors for the journey.

When I worry at 3:00 a.m., I am sure to start praying – for myself, for others, for my kids, for my marriage, for the school year, for our pastor, for ministries I love, for our country, for friends in need – whatever and whoever the Lord brings to mind.  This combats the TWO LIES!!!

In the morning, I sit during my quiet time and give thanks for all God is doing!  I make lists after lists from big things to little things.  Being grateful and thankful fights the TWO LIES!!!

My current situation has not really changed.  My cancer markers continue to soar and my PET scan show cancerous activity.  I will undergo surgery on September 3rd to find the cancer, but I have an inner calm and peace about it.

We all have a choice to make in this life when we face difficult times.

The TWO LIES yell for our attention, but the ONE TRUTH supplies all our needs. 

What will you serve today – the god of worry and control OR the God who takes away worry and control. 

The choice is ours to make.  Choose wisely, friends! 

Jackie's Journey: Inexplicable Agony! Part 1

Ralph raking the leaves in front of our jungle home.

The word that Americans were living on the Pucuro River among an isolated tribe located near the headwaters was big news to the people in a tiny Choco settlement about a day’s journey away by piraqua.  A young couple from this village had come to Pucuro for medicine for their little boy.  Ralph, my husband, and our partner, Jay Gunsteens, were eager to take some of our new believing Kunas on their first missionary trip to this community.

Young visiting Choco family.

I remember the day they took off in the dugout and wondered how these remote people would receive the message God was bringing to them.  It was rainy season and the mud was deep as they arrived on the riverbank.  This secluded group of Indians had a few horses and cows and the ground was thoroughly contaminated.  Ralph, who had purchased combat boots for just this sort of occasion, was in his flip-flops! 

Darkness was closing in and the boys were invited to eat and spend the night.  The next day they were given an opportunity to open the Word and share God’s plan for their lives.  Ralph and Jay were well received and some of the townspeople even returned a visit to Pucuro in the weeks that followed. 

Choco village

About two weeks after returning to our village, Ralph began to suffer with excruciating abdominal pain.  We committed him to our healing God.  The limited medical resources available to us interior had been exhausted.  Since we were soon due to renew our visas, we decided to take the three-day journey early and leave for Panama City to see if the doctors in the Canal Zone could help us.  The medical doctors realized he had picked up something unusual and, unable to find the source after a battery of tests, they sent us to Gorgas Laboratory, the Center for Disease Control for the military in Central America. 

Ralph was becoming increasingly restless and powerless to cope with the intense pain.  The Lab was our last hope.  We made an immediate appointment and to our surprise, they took us right in. 

Ralph had not slept in days.   The Lord had opened up a home on the military base for us to use the few days we planned to be in the city and we were so grateful for His provision.  

Military housing in the Canal Zone.

Ralph would walk the floor day and night.  The only thing that gave him a few moments of relief was when he would drink a Coca Cola!  I knew I had been called to this ministry, and I knew God was allowing this trial for our good and the benefit of others, yet this was touching one of God’s most faithful servants and I was stymied! 

Have you ever wondered why it is so much more difficult to watch the pain of someone else than your own?

Finally, one night, Ralph stopped pacing and laid down sometime after midnight.  I breathed a sigh of relief. 

About two hours later we were jolted by someone at the back door, literally, breaking into the house!  They had broken the window and were reaching their hands inside through the shattered glass to unlock the latch! 

Ralph was instantly on his feet yelling at the intruder!  As he left our room, he turned and said,  “Safety is in the Lord, Jackie!”  As he slammed the door shut, he told me to call the military police and stay with the girls!

Panicked and processing, I did as I was told and listened to the scuffle in the hall.  There were loud voices and then silence!  In a few minutes Ralph had subdued the man and tapped on our door to tell us we were going to be all right.  The intruder was a cocaine addict and knew someone that lived in this borrowed house.  He needed money and was desperate to get in! 

Have you ever had an intruder violently invade your place of safety?

Needless to say, we did not go back to bed, and as dawn shed light into the house, I was busily packing and “oh, so ready” to keep that Gorgas Lab appointment and head back to our home in the jungles of the Darien. 

Who would have thought that an ordinary family would sense more safety in a jungle house with no lock, a bark frame and surrounded by indigenous people, than in a thriving metropolis with all the amenities known to man?!

I learned a lesson that night: This experience drove home the truth that the promise “Safety is in the Lord” is an absolute reality given to those who walk with Him.

“The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in SAFETY by Him; the Lord will cover him all day long.”  Duet. 33:12

The world is too small a place to afford safety to a man that disobeys God.

Where do you find safety?

Investing in Kids

I am not a “kid” person.  Or so I thought . . .

Growing up, I wasn’t the person all the little kids flocked to.  Babysitting was not my favorite job, and I thought I could spend my time better elsewhere.  As a young adult, I vowed never to have children because I was not the right person for the job.

Then I met Christ in my 20’s and He transformed my mind, my heart and my soul.

I learned from God’s word children are a blessing from the Lord.  He loved children in scripture and He said, “Let the little ones come to me . . . the Kingdom of the Lord belongs to them”.  (Luke 18:16)  He changed my worldview and my beliefs that had been shaped by culture.

Now, I am (happily) a mom or four wonderful children who I love deeply. I write princess books on character for the next generation.  I homeschool my kids. I love to be with them.  I would still consider myself not a “kid” person.  Playing games with my kids on the floor and coming up with imaginary roles to play has always been a stretch for me.  I would rather teach the kids how to fold laundry or read a book.  For my own kids’ sake, though, I have learned to do these things.

But when it comes to their friends?  I am the mommy who sets up the play dates, but doesn’t invest in the lives of my kids’ friends.  Until recently . . .

At the beginning of this year, we started our Princess Parables Club.  We took each of the books in the series and created a fun day around it for my daughter and her friends.  Teaching, snacks, reading, crafts and playing.  I was doing this both for my daughter and also because I had felt God tug on my heart to do this. But it was something out of my comfort zone.

We just finished up our last meeting with a Princess Parables tea.  Our table was set with fine china.  Tasty goodies baked to perfection for our feast.  The girls each came dressed “fancy” with smiles on their faces.  We learned a little bit about manners and etiquette.  We read Princess Grace and the Little Lost Kitten with a character lesson.  Each girl received a bracelet with charms representing all the different lessons for the weeks we had “Club”.

While these moments are remembered as priceless, I have to say my connection with each of the girls was the greatest treasure to me.  Because of the time spent with them, I felt bonded to these sweet “princesses”.  Each with their own personality and gifts.  I poured in time, love and energy to each one.

I received the greatest gift – their friendship.  Now when I see any of the girls, they are quick to come give me a high-five.  They smile and talk to me as if I am one of their peers – not just their friend’s mom. I am able to be in a place of influence in their lives.  As I continue to pour into some of their lives in the future, who knows where that may lead?  God does, and He has plans for each of these children.

Can I encourage you moms?  As you begin to think about the new school year, ask yourself, “How can be in a place of influence with my kids’ friends?”  Start a group after school in your home.  You won’t be sorry!  I thought I was blessing them, but in the end, they were the ones blessing me!

Jackie's Journey: "If You Can Imagine..."

Life had become routine in the Darien jungles of Panama. The sounds of Howler monkeys, the screeching of magnificent multicolored parrots, and the beauty of the bright colored Toucan had become commonplace.  One morning we woke up to find two little spider monkeys on the front porch crawling on the girls’ bikes! 

I still could not reconcile with: the colossal spiders, the over-sized scorpions, the copious species of snakes, the blood-sucking vampire bats or the jungle army ants!  Nor would I ever find harmony with the dripping humidity and the ever-present roaches, chiggers and mosquitos!  However, I learned to appreciate the large iguanas for their tasty eggs.

Daily the Kunas would greet us early looking for sugar or oil and a morning visit.  We had become part of the community, and they had begun to accept us.  We had brought medicine, oil, and sugar after all!

The Indians had, somewhere along the line, become part of our family and we had become attached to them and their way of life.  We had learned so much from them and were amazed at their physical strength compared to their small stature.  Their ability to take one bullet and return with a deer or two bullets and return with two deer was uncanny.  We, also, learned much from their survival skills in the dense jungle.  But their openness to listen to the truth of God’s Word after a year and a half of total mistrust and resistance was the most astounding of all!   

Watching the young mothers with their babies and the respect and trust these women had for the older women in the village was heartening.  We had grown to love these very special people and had developed a mutually fulfilling relationship.  As they came to know Christ, our hearts were full of gratitude for the privilege of serving the King in such a rugged border region. 

The women swept the village once a week during dry season, and it was an opportunity for Sue Gunsteens, my partner, and I to listen to the women chatter and hear the community gossip.  You didn’t want to miss the sweeping because you would then become the object of their conversation that day!  The sweeping stirred up the tuberculosis germs.   

The Lord had given me a verse during missionary training that I claimed as I swept.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and future”.   Jer.29: 11

I was consistently on guard because of something my Uncle, an orthopedic surgeon, had told me while he was visiting us at Language School.  He spoke quietly: “Jackie, you carry the TB germ from birth; it lays dormant now, but could activate in the right environment or as you get older”.  I was 25, so I only had to focus on the environmental issue, I thought to myself at the time!  During Congreso meetings we knew we had reached a level of tribal acceptance when they offered us a gourd filled with “Chicha” and everyone would drink from it!  Needless to say, I did not want to offend by NOT drinking from that cup! 

 God’s promises are continually sufficient…

The Lord used these powerful words of promise, in the verse above, to banish my fear and sustain me as we swept the village, drank the “sugar cane-sweetened platano (cooking banana) drink” and treated the TB patients in their homes and the clinic.   

He knew my future and had it planned. There was, therefore, no reason to be troubled.  My focus was not on my fear but the need to keep in harmony with Him, His assignment and His will. 

Are you ever preoccupied with the future and what it holds for your life? 

In a world full of uncertainties, it is easy to “roll into” the pattern of helping God design your future, rather than simply submitting to Him and His plan, which comes with assurance and hope!