A Warrior Mom Is Faithful

We continue today exploring the idea of being a warrior mom versus a soldier mom. Yesterday, we dug into the idea of being called to be a warrior mom. Here is a fun story along those lines. . .

           Once upon a time, there was a little girl.  The youngest of five, she was the only girl.  Her family never thought of giving her too many girly things as it was easier to just let her run around “like one of the boys”.  Her mom had much to handle working full time as a single mom.  She didn’t realize her daughter was growing up with all things “boy”.  When she did stop and think about it, she thought it was easier to just let her play with balls and Legos.  Until her great Aunt Dorothy bought her a baby doll and the next year a princess dress.  This little girl felt a call, a longing for a world she didn’t know existed.

            One day her mom happened upon her, all dressed up rocking her baby doll and singing to her.  The scene would seem quite normal upon first glance; however, just behind the little girl, tucked into the sash of her princess dress, was her brother’s very large sword.  Her mom was startled and asked her, “Honey, why do you need the big sword?”  She replied in true warrior fashion, “Mommy, I have a job to do that only God could give me.  So I am taking care of my baby and am ready for anything”.

As I reflected upon this little girl in the story, I realized being a warrior mom comes from God.  We are called to be a warrior mom, not just a soldier mom who feels duty.  Here is another thought on the subject.   

A Warrior Mom remains Faithful.

In Girls with Swords: How to Carry your Cross like a Hero, the author explains soldiers are trained, but warriors are tempered.  And becoming tempered comes from living under pressure.

How do we stay faithful to our calling under pressure?

Having children has tempered me.  The definition of tempered is: to be made less intense or violent, especially by the influence of something good or benign.

Bruce and I attended parenting classes for 12 weeks before we ever had Christian, our first child.  While some would say this training was silly, we wanted to be prepared for our first attempt at parenting.  Once we had Christian, then Danika, and the rest, we began to realize even though the information we learned was good and useful, we could not just stick with the step-by-step plan.  We were trained, but what we needed was supernatural help. We were under pressure and we had to rely on God to give us insight on the children He had given us. 

We became tempered over time and trusted our kids and instincts to the Lord, which was more important than training. 

As true warriors, we have to take each lesson we learn on the path of parenthood.  We understand that the challenge in this last season was meant to build strength in our future and our kids’ future.  Cancer has been this kind of challenge for me as a mom.  Having cancer has taken me away from being a mom for hundreds of hours and has exhausted me for the days I have been available.  If I was not careful, I could become angry at God, distant from my kids or give up on the task of being an intentional mom for the sake of my health.  All of them have been tempting in one form or another.  However, I know the calling of being a warrior mom and I have accepted the call. I know cancer was meant to build strength in me and make me more like Christ.

Being tempered under pressure as a warrior mom has caused me to put my focus on prayer.  All the training in the world will not make my kids into Christ followers.  My parenting skills fail in many areas so I know they will need me to pray and be faithful to the calling I have as their mom.  Focusing on training and duty only makes me angry and bitter, but giving my children to God and praying for them helps me to be a warrior mom.  It does not mean I don’t train or take care of them, it just means I go beyond the things within my power and rely on the power beyond my own.  Relying on Christ to remain faithful to the call of motherhood.

In what ways do you remain faithful in times of pressure as a mom?

~Jeanna Young

When Jeanna is not writing, speaking, event planning, or homeschooling, she can be found scrapbooking her life, redecorating her home, loving on her husband, planning fun events for her kids or eating healthy to stay cancer-free!

Warrior Mom: You Are Called

I live in a house full of knights and princesses. 

All of them resonate with the idea of a hero.

 As we study kingdoms in history and in our own Princess Parable books, I am struck with God’s plan for warriors and heroes.  Soldiers have uniforms.  But real warriors have weapons and tools for the job they have been called to do.  There is a very distinct difference between a warrior and a soldier. 

Who are warriors in daily life or even in imaginary life?  I think of super heroes.  Each one of them has their day-to-day routine and outfit.  There’s Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker. Even Wonder Woman was Diana Prince.

And Jesus, whom they expected to wear armor and come to fight in this world.  Yet, he came as the most helpless into this world – a baby.  But he was a warrior, not a soldier.  He came to change the world and never picked up a sword, except God’s word.

Did you know you are called to be a warrior?

I love that we introduced our knights in the Easter book.  They are knights synonymous with honor, boldness, trust and faith.  Our princesses have the same character qualities because being a warrior is all a matter of the heart.

I want to take this idea of a warrior over the next couple days and reflect on motherhood.  What does it look like to be a warrior mom vs. a soldier mom? What does it look like to take the calling we have as warriors and place it in our day-to-day life – changing diapers and training up children?

A Warrior Mom knows she is Called. 

The difference between a soldier and a warrior is the soldier is drafted and the warrior is called*.  Not all moms feel a calling.  You can be a biological mom.  You can birth a child, suffer thorough baby stage and toddlers to just make it to school age.  Muddle through those teen years and send them off at 18 without ever feeling the call of being a mom – without ever seeing your position as one of honor and protection.  We have to accept the call from the Lord to raise them intentionally.  It is work!  But the truth is once you have a baby, God CALLS you to be a warrior mom. The easiest thing is to be the soldier mom.  Just doing the bare minimum, exasperated with your kids and waiting for them to be gone. 

I felt that way in the beginning.  I know I wanted kids but then the harsh reality of sleepless nights and postpartum depression kicked in for me.  I also didn’t have that instant heart connection.  I found I felt distant, but responsible.  I saw the weight of having a little eternal person, but I could see how easily it was encroaching on my plans, my time, my selfish life.

When I met Sally Clarkson 7 years ago, I didn’t own the calling of motherhood.  I felt a duty, but there is a drastic difference between calling and duty.  That is why I have continued to put myself around people who call me to a higher place of motherhood.  I read books that convict me to live intentionally as a mom.

Motherhood is not a hobby. 

It is a ministry and a conviction.

A warrior mom is sold out. 

She is not just waiting until her term is over.

She is in it for life.

Motherhood is her life calling.

Do you feel called or drafted as a mom? 

*Ideas taken from the book “Girls with Swords: How to Carry your Cross like a Hero” by Lisa Bevere

~Jeanna Young

When Jeanna is not writing, speaking, event planning, or homeschooling, she can be found scrapbooking her life, redecorating her home, loving on her husband, planning fun events for her kids or eating healthy to stay cancer-free!

Jackie's Journey: Chance or Choice?

“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving”.  Oliver Windell Holmes, Sr.

“I’m glad for the Bible.  It gives me a chance to see how other people chose…and the results.  There’s the contrast between Abraham’s choice and Lot’s choice before Sodom.  There’s Moses’ choice of his fellows rather than the riches of Egypt.  There’s Joseph’s choice in the prison house of Potiphar, and Daniel’s choice of the king’s vegetables rather than his meats.  Paul paid a glorious price when he chose his lot with the early Christians.  Christ made marvelous choices when he set his face toward Jerusalem, at the Garden of Gethsemane, and in the Judgment Hall.

Adam’s choice cost him Eden; Esau’s, his birthright; Achan’s his life; Lot’s, his home and herds; Absalom’s, his father’s throne; Saul’s, his kingdom; the rich young ruler, the companionship of Christ.  Judas lost his apostleship; Demas, his discipleship.  Pilate, Agrippa, and Felix chose wrong and missed immortality.  Ananias’ choice fooled no one but himself.  Caleb and Joshua chose well, while Jonah’s first choice nearly shipwrecked himself and the crew….” Robert G. Lee

As mothers, if asked how do we build the character into our children that is necessary for them to make right choices, would our answer prove we know how to choose the things that matter most?

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”  William Jennings Bryan

Life is a continuous series of choices determined by our wise or unwise decisions.  The Bible gives us a pragmatic biblical principle that teaches us that we reap a life with purpose and blessing, if we sow wise choices.  We reap what we sow… The opposite is also true…if we sow unwise choices we will reap the consequence of destruction on our heritage and ourselves…

What are you sowing?  What is the pattern of your life?

 Decisiveness is the ability to finalize difficult decisions based on the will and ways of God.  We build decisiveness when we refuse to reconsider or rationalize a decision that we already know in our spirit is the right choice!  “Rationalization is

allowing my mind to find reasons to excuse what my spirit knows is wrong.”  Romans 2: 21

Are you a wise decision-maker?

The opposite of decisiveness is double-mindedness.   The mother who thinks she can ride the invisible and non-existent fence is fooling herself.   There is no middle or neutral ground.  “…That woman (man) should not think she (he) will receive anything from the Lord; she (he) is double-minded, unstable in all she (he) does”! James 1: 8

I have never been the fastest decision-maker, but I have a treasured friend who makes me look like the “Road Runner”!  She meticulously finds every pro and con to every decision.  Detailing its purpose, longevity, functionality, and preference in comparison to a multitude of other possibilities.  I, frankly, am honored I made the cut and she has chosen me for one of her closest friends for almost 40 years!  There is one area of her life, however, where she has absolutely no difficulty in making a decision and consistently makes the right one.  Her secret…she is bent on seeking the will of God, above all else, disregarding her own will!  She is single-minded!    

Meet my single-minded friend, Nancy Sanche

When facing a decision, check your facts, seek wise counsel and make sure your goals are clearly defined.  But most importantly, make sure that Matt. 6:33 is in play first…” Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (His Will!) and all these things will be added unto you”.

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Jackie's Journey: The Inspiration Effect

I recently received a letter from a missionary who went through the training with us before we left for the mission field.  My mind flooded with gratefulness as I remembered the influence she had had on my life and how God used her to bring us into a community that was entirely foreign and outside our comfort zone.  I am a city girl and although my heritage is grounded in the heartland, I was apprehensive of this small country town and its established culture.

Have you ever found yourself in a totally unfamiliar situation and are positive you will do or say the wrong thing?

We were in our last few days of language school.  We had successfully completed a year of boot camp and another year of language school. Our series of required injections for our targeted mission field were in process and our passports and visas had arrived.  We had been tested for tuberculosis, given yellow fever shots, tetanus shots, dengue fever inoculations, malaria pills and a small pharmacy had been accumulated for the specific needs of our remote area, etc.…and we were on a fast track to get into the jungles of Panama!  

My husband became aware of a need of one of the mission families and volunteered us to “stop by and check on a family of six children who had just lost their father” on our way back to California.   Christina was almost five months old and that little “stop” saw her celebrate her first birthday in that beautiful Nebraska farming community!

During our time there, God confirmed to us that he could and would use us on the mission field and our time there formed the basis of what we are still using to challenge, win, and disciple.  His faithfulness in building His character in us over those months prepared us for the years of ministry ahead.  Being adopted by this community allowed us the confidence to keep pressing on!

One of the valuable lessons that came out of this well-spent time was the fact that I am responsible for my influence, regardless of how I feel or how others perceive me!  My husband, children and now grandchildren, and not to forget everyone I come in contact with everyday, are observing and reading me.  “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.” II Cor. 3:2   A Christian is a living sermon whether or not he says a word!

Will others speak well of my Lord because of me or

will I be someone’s excuse for a bad attitude or behavior?

The unfamiliar is a great proving ground for our “real” character!  Being conscious of my total dependence and need for Him to live the Christian life through me, rather than being pre-occupied with my failure or “will I say or do the right thing” was liberating. 

His fruit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith (not insecurity!), meekness, temperance…Gal. 5:22-23 When this is NOT my fruit I know He is NOT living through me!  We don’t always know what to say or do when “in the trenches” with our little ones (or big ones) but He does!  We often go to friends, counselors and self-help books, looking for answers, while the Bible sits dormant and contains the key!   

Could we, moms, really make a difference?

Is our influence the catalyst in the behavior of those entrusted to us?

Could our godly conduct control the spirit of our home and bring peace instead of turmoil?

“Let no man imagine that he has no effect.”  Henry George

This missionary has no idea how she influenced my life with hers.  We are never fully aware of our sphere of influence, but for better or worse…the influence of our lives carries power… either for the success or the destruction of others!

“The selfless person increases the value of every other person whom he influences.”

The selfish person becomes the excuse for the person following him. 

Which will you be?

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Everything I Needed to Learn in Life I Learned in Ballet Class Day 3: Never Give Up!

Today we are finishing up with my fourteen year old daughter’s inspirational speech she gave at a competition.  We are closing with her final point.  I can still remember her, just a tiny little girl, only three years old, slipping on her first pair of pink shoes.  I never knew the blessing she would be today and how she has grown and matured.  I feel blessed to be her mommy and grateful we found Ms. Kelly to train her not only in the things of ballet, but also in righteousness.  Here is what Danika writes:

Never Give Up

I want to encourage you to dance with me in this life. I don’t expect you to put on ballet shoes, but I encourage you to see dancing as an analogy for living.  Because all we really need to know about how to live for Jesus, we can learn in ballet class.

One of the most important sayings that I hear in my sleep is “Don’t ever give up!”  That means even though you are tired and worn out with nothing left to give, you still hold the position and SMILE!  Remember when I am on pointe the pain is invisible to you, but not to me.  I have lost a toenail, gained a bunion and have endure excruciating blisters and bruises.  But my love for dance has helped me endure through challenges! 

Described as a ballerina who defies the odds and never gave up, Misty Copeland is black.  She has the wrong body type, the wrong feet and too big a bust.  She was too old at 13 to start training for ballet.  Yet Misty never let the criticism get in her way, because she too loved ballet.  She kept on and today she is one of the most famous ballerinas and the first black principal dancer.  She never gave up! 

In the Bible, Paul encourages us to never give up either.  In 2 Peter 1:3, he says “God has given us everything we need for this life.”  How much of everything is everything?  EVERYTHING!   As Christians, we too must never give up and lose heart but rather keep trusting in Jesus and doing good.  Even if it hurts or is painful, we are encouraged to do this because we love Jesus.  I point out if I can stand on my toes with the joy of ballet. I know God gives me extra strength to endure, how much more we as Christian with the promise of glory to come and eternal life in heaven.  Stand with me and don’t give up!

Don’t forget while you are dancing that some day we will be standing at the foot of Jesus.  He will ask us “How did you live for me through your life? How did you show me through all you did?”  He will have seen your “spotting”, “your shine for him” and your “determination to never quit”.

In the words of Mercy Me,

“Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still

Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing Hallelujah will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine!” 

How do you “never give up” as you are dancing through your life?

Danika Young is fourteen years old and is the daughter of Bruce and Jeanna Young.  She is homeschooled and lives in Southern California. Not only is she a ballerina and a speech and debate enthusiast, she loves art, fashion and baking.  She placed in the finals and semi-finals in STOA speech competitions this year and hopes to continue competing next year.

Everything I Needed to Learn in Life I Learned in Ballet Class Day 2: "Shine Your Light"

We are continuing today with the thoughts of my fourteen year old daughter.  She wrote this speech for a competitive tournament, where she was able to wear her pointe shoes as the “prop” in her motivational speech category.  I love sharing this with all of you moms because where there are princesses, there inevitably are ballerinas.  They just seem to go hand in hand. So enjoy the perspective of this ballerina who has learned everything she needs to in this life in her ballet class! 

Shining through it all

All my life, I have heard “Point your feet! “Stay off your heels” “Get your eyes off the floor” “Smile” and “Dance beyond your bubble” and many more sayings my dance teachers drill in our heads.  In each saying, I see an analogy for life and living for Jesus.

Ms. Kelly, my dance instructor, says “Dance to the tips of your fingers and toes”.  What she means by this is to shine your light through your fingers and toes.  In other words, show your energy and shine your light to the world. 

As Christians, Jesus tells us to “Let your light so shine before me, that they may see your good works and glorify you Father which is in heaven”.  There was no better example of this than Amy Carmichael, missionary and poet.  In 1895, Amy Carmichael traveled to India to be a light to people there.  She preached the gospel and many girls came to the Lord.   She then saved the girls from the Hindu community by taking them in and making an orphanage. 

Have you ever read any of her books?   Well, in her latter years, she became bedridden for over twenty years, but that did not put out her light.  Here is a quote from one of her books: 

“If when I am able to discover something which has baffled others, I forget Him who revealeth the deep and secret things, and knoweth what is in the darkness and showeth it to us; if I forget that it was He who granted that ray of light to His most unworthy servant, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”

She wrote 16 of the most influential and inspiring books of her time, influencing many to shine their lights – including Jim and Elisabeth Elliot, who were missionaries that sacrificed their lives in the jungles of Panama to spread the gospel of Christ. Both Amy Carmichael and the Elliots motivate me to shine my light in this world for God by “Dancing to the tips of my fingers and toes”!

So as you can see we all need a Ms. Kelly in our lives to teach us and inspire us to push through daily life to excel in the gifts that God has given us.  I want you to dance with me in this world.  I don’t expect you to really dance ballet with me, but I want to you to see dancing as an analogy for how we can live our lives for Christ.  

Danika Young is fourteen years old and is the daughter of Bruce and Jeanna Young.  She is homeschooled and lives in Southern California. Not only is she a ballerina and a speech and debate enthusiast, she loves art, fashion and baking.  She placed in the finals and semi-finals in STOA speech competitions this year and hopes to continue competing next year.

Everything I Needed to Learn in Life I Learned in Ballet Class Day 1: Spinning

As we enjoy spring, dance recitals approach and our princesses enjoy performing for all of us.  From young to old, tutus and tightly braided buns bring a smile to our face. Watching our girls glide across the stage with grace and poise is the result of months of practice.

I want to share with you a speech my daughter gave this year about dance.  How everything she needed to learn about living for Jesus, she learned in ballet class.  She is fourteen and an on pointe ballerina. I have taken her speech that she placed in the semi-finals in competition and broken it up over three days. I hope you enjoy her take on the art of dance and maybe think more about those ballet classes. Just imagine what they could be teaching your daughter. She challenged me and I hope you will be encouraged, too!

Keeping your Spot

Standing in the side wings, the butterflies fluttered in my stomach.  I was warmed up. I was nervous. I was excited.  As the curtain rose and the lights found their spot, I chasséd into position.  The familiar music set in motion the Party Scene and I was front and center on Pointe ready to perform.  I took a deep breath and placed a smile on my face.  The moment I had dreamed of began.  

Because you see, ladies and gentlemen, I had worked every weekend from dawn until dusk preparing for this moment. The voice of my ballet instructor etched sayings into my head.  Since I was two years old standing at the barre, I’ve heard the same sayings from my teachers.

One saying that I have heard over and over in my dance class is to “Spot!”. 

Spotting is when you pirouette, turn, or soutenu, you have find a spot on the wall and lock your eyes on it.  Even though your body is turning your head is the last to go around.  This keeps your focus; otherwise you will lose your balance and fall.  Spotting is a great analogy for life. 

Spotting reminds me of “Keeping my eyes on Jesus”.  Heb. 12:1, 2 “Let us . . . . fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith”. This is one of the most important life lessons.

Spinning or turning is like trials, changes or pain in life, but if we can find our spot on Jesus then we can complete the turn with ease.  However, if we take our eyes off Jesus, we will lose our control.  Our balance will be dizzy and we will fall.  Keeping our eyes on Jesus keeps us focused in this life.   

Peter is a great example of this.  When he was walking on the water in the Bible, he took his eyes off Jesus and quickly lost his center. He fell into the water because he lost his “spot”.   Just as I am learning to keep my “spot” in dance, I want practice keeping my “spot” on Jesus.

So will you dance with me?  Will we live for Him?  Will we bring Him glory in all we do?

How will you keep your “spot” on Jesus this week?

Danika Young is fourteen years old and is the daughter of Bruce and Jeanna Young.  She is homeschooled and lives in Southern California. Not only is she a ballerina and a speech and debate enthusiast, she loves art, fashion and baking.  She placed in the finals and semi-finals in STOA speech competitions this year and hopes to continue competing next year.

Jackie's Journey: The Command Zone!

“Good men (women) are never idle, they are not hurried, worried, or flurried.  They keep the even tenor of their way, walking steadily towards heaven.

The Law of the Lord is not irksome to them, its commands are not grievous and its restrictions are not slavish in their esteem.

They are rather a chart for their daily course, a map of the road for their life’s journey.  The path of obedience has no regret.  The Lord is their testimony.”

 C. Spurgeon

Just the word “command” raises a red flag in our heart of hearts, doesn’t it?

We live in a day and age where we are not subservient and not held responsible or accountable for anything we are asked to do.  We can question and decide if we feel like doing it or if, we even want to do it at all!  Western culture has taken a huge swing into massive confusion and our homes have followed suit.  We make decisions on a whim, usually independent of our authority with no consequence considered. Often our decisions are made without biblical consideration. 

We are easily persuaded by every “wind and doctrine”.   Hence the continual “church hopping”, the high divorce rate among believers, the on-line dating for the increasing singles population, the struggling marriages with unruly children, the media mayhem, the unprecedented division in national, state, local and church leaderships.  We see it all around us…chaos.  

Sound familiar?

There is a day coming when we will all be held accountable for our part of the chaos!  Accountable for every thought, word, deed and motive.  God has a plan that gives us moms a key for ourselves and for our children that will allow them to develop into mature adults that will be equipped to make a change in the next generation.

How can we be assured of success?

It begins with obedience to what He asks of us. 

…What, exactly, does the Lord our God ask of us?

1. to fear Him
2. to walk in all his ways
3. to love him
4. to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul (mind, will and emotions!)
5.  to observe His commands and decrees…”  Deuteronomy 10: 12

Asking too much? 

The truth is, it is our reasonable service in the light of His sacrifice for us!   Instant obedience to the initial promptings of God’s Spirit should be our response with no hesitation, no rationalization and no doubt…just a simple immediate compliance.  Having will power over our actions is empowering!  Self-constraint breeds dignity and strength of character and a sense of self-possession and assurance. 

When God asks us to respond to Him, He expects it to be immediate because He has sent His Spirit ahead to convince us of His truth.  He enables us to hear His voice and He anticipates our instant obedience.  When we fail to respond to Him we face the consequence of our disobedience and miss the joy of His fellowship and the reward.      

Chaos ensues and our peace is disrupted! 

Why do we hesitate to instantly yield? 

While in training for the mission field, a seasoned instructor, who had served years in the jungles of Brazil, told me after sensing my hesitation to respond to a truth in the Word, “The choices you make will blight or bless, Jackie.  If you aren’t a missionary, you are a mission field”.

Procrastination when God gave clear instruction made me a mission field!  The responsibility to live a life of obedience to His Word was solely mine.  I was responsible for me and accountable to God for every decision!  The only way my choices would line up with His would be if I knew what His Word said and did what God asked of me!

What was it, again, that God requires of me?

It is not complicated…

• To fear Him is to fear the consequence of sin.
• To walk in “all His ways” is to maintain a moment-by-moment walk of God- consciousness:
• with no unconfessed sin and no unresolved relationship
• with an acceptance of trials as teachers and opportunity
• with no hypocrisy
• To Love Him is to hate evil (all unrighteousness)
• no double-mindedness
• no disloyalty
• To serve Him is to stay dead to my self-life, so I stay out of His way and He can work through me for the benefit of others
• To observe His commands is to get into His Word and let His truth encourage, admonish and instruct me.

Sound interesting?   

The reward and blessing of responding to God with instant obedience is overwhelmingly inspiring… especially if you are comparing it to the disobedient alternative.                            

Which will you choose?

Acceptance of God’s commands and map for your life’s journey

or

Rebellion, Procrastination and Regret at the end of the line? 

We will be held accountable!

So will those little princes and princesses following us!

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Jackie's Journey: Cruel Companion

After major emergency surgery in Panama my recovery was slow.  While my husband returned to our village in the jungle, I was taken in by dear friends who cared for me and our two daughters until his return and a doctor’s release to re-enter jungle work.  Christina attended the mission school during those months and I attempted to care for a very active three year old, Kim.  To say that she was lively would be an understatement.  Her boundless energy was an extreme contrast to my very slow and weak frame and keeping up with her was daunting.

Kim, to this day, can walk into a room and the whole room lights up, full of energy.  Her middle name is Joy and she certainly brings that into our lives!  Her willful defiance to correction in those early days brought me to an impasse…we would continually lock horns or I would just count my blessings and give in! 

Ever been there?

I have one of those faces that can’t hide anything.  I wear my emotions on my face, not my sleeve.  I consider myself to be a fairly even-tempered woman with a clear understanding of what it means to be angry.   I know the functional definition of anger, the peace I have to sacrifice to give into it, the guilt that results, and the pain required to resolve it. 

 One day at our friend’s home, Kim’s “lively activity” drew attention for some needed help. I was asked how I was going to respond to her. I answered the question with a silent non-verbal, …“what...what do you mean…?”  My face must have spoken loudly because I was then asked, “Are you angry, Jackie?”  I responded, “Of course not!”  They replied,  “Jackie, look at your expression in the mirror” (there was a mirror on the wall where I stood).  

I looked…and there was no denying the fact that my face said what my mind clearly denied…I was angry!  Sometimes I pause and glaze over while processing, but this was different!  I slithered off into my temporary bedroom and made an attempt to rationalize my situation!  Don’t they realize how fragile I am?  This can’t be fair…I just had a Laparotomy, forty-four stitches inside and forty-four stitches to close…I was in bad shape…don’t I get a smidge of extra consideration???  My self-pity consumed me…why… I thought I was a victim (the biggest lie from the pit!), well…wasn’t I?? 

Sound familiar?

Anger is a cruel companion.  The emptier the pot the quicker it boils!  Anger does everything to undermine truth and defeat us!  It is nothing more than “someone finding a right that I have not yet yielded to God.”  By that definition no one can make me angry!  I choose it all by myself…I can’t blame anybody!  It is my fault!

"When God wants to bring more power into our lives, He brings more pressure."  (A.B. Simpson)

There was no verbal argument and no laboring the point…just my humbly acknowledging …my guilt!

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Prov.21: 19   The last thing I wanted to be was that angry woman!  My children deserved a godly example, not an excuse!  My husband, bless his heart, deserved a wife free from anger to humbly love him unconditionally.  Anger and humility cannot dwell together…one has to go.

Henry Drummond, in The Greatest Thing in the World, wrote:

 “It is the intermittent fever which bespeaks unintermittent disease within; the occasional bubble escaping to the surface which betrays some rottenness underneath; a sample of the most hidden products of the soul dropped involuntarily when off one’s guard; in a word, the lightning form of a hundred hideous and unchristian sins.  For a want of patience, a want of kindness, a want of generosity, a want of courtesy, a want of unselfishness, are all instantaneously symbolized in one flash of…TEMPER.” 

 We call TEMPER by many socially acceptable names in an attempt to excuse it: impatience, frustration, wrong response, irritation, and annoyance…    We find clever ways to rationalize our anger.  We protect it, guard it, defend it, and yet its ugly head rears up and betrays us.

I am grateful and forever indebted to the family who forced me that day in Panama to face my anger and its subtle and insidious hold on me!  That new light to recognize anger and its deceptions, to call it by name, to ask forgiveness and to walk in the promised victory keeps my Christian life liberated daily, as I continue to learn…

Are you an angry woman?

Is humility your signature attribute?

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Jackie's Journey: Earthquakes!

The day started like any other day.  The stark silence of the night was broken by clamoring voices on the path outside our bedroom window that led into the dense jungle floor.  Moms with babies were arriving at our front door to trade eggs for sugar and oil.  The happy and animated chatter of two little girls jumping up and down, hungry for those fresh eggs, motivated me to move into high gear!

It was only daybreak but life was already on a steady fast track.  As moms, we long for stability and a safe place for our children to grow up.   Sometimes we look for it in the comfortable and familiar…our best laid plans.  Dressing was next and it was easy…I owned two Kuna dresses and wore flip-flops…no closet required!  Hot coffee, fresh eggs with rice and beans were on the breakfast menu and then off to the river to wash clothes.

Humming and comfortable that the day was programmed from start to finish and clipping along as planned…I proceeded back up the bank to hang the clean clothes, get started on homeschool, then some language study before lunch.  I love it when a good plan comes together….

The house was full of Kunas when we returned from the river.  My husband, Ralph, was seated…Bible open.  The hammock was stretched across the center of the room welcoming us… but no time!  It was almost 11:00 a.m.  It really was a day just like every other day… until the unthinkable happened…

“Suddenly, in an instant, the Lord Almighty came with thunder and earthquake and great noise…” Isa.29: 6 

The ground began to shake; an abrupt jerk, a rumbling sound and then a LONG roll.  Our lantern, hanging from the 10’ ceiling, began to swing 2’ in each direction.  The floorboards began to buckle and the entire house began to sway!  I looked down and Kim’s high chair was rocking from side to side.  I grabbed her and reached for Christina who was already moving toward me.  She wrapped her arms around my leg. Stumbling toward Ralph, I was having difficulty standing; I was bobbing like a boat in a storm!

When everything is moving, what does one grab for safety?  Ralph, immediately on his feet, saw my dilemma and reached for us across the room.  With one hand he grasped Kim and me and set us securely in the swinging hammock in the middle of the room.  With his other hand he lifted Christina up into his arms and tucked her in against us. 

Turning to look outside, we all watched the ground heave and fall in surges.  The dogs were struggling to stay on their feet.  Every house in the village was moving.  The bark walls and thatch roofs were unstable and the tremors were continual.  We lived on a riverbank and the river was turbulent and threatening.  I am a California girl and I have experienced my share of earthquakes, but this one was in a class all its own!   It was longer, stronger and more forceful than any I had ever known.

This, definitely, was NOT a day like any other day!

In the jungle interruptions are expected.  The Darien is full of them…creepy crawlers…poisonous spiders, frogs, snakes, ants and caterpillars… Drug runners or sick or injured Indians from other villages from Colombia passing through… These were predictable and probable challenges, but an 8.3 epicenter earthquake?  NO…NOT!!

I was reminded that God honors us most when He puts us where we will trust Him most.

Safety was NOT in our house in the Darien jungle!

I was excited when weeks later someone offered us a third story apartment in Panama City for a few days to renew our visas.  Secretly, my hope was that half a country away in the city the tremors would not be felt!   Our arrival was after dark so we settled in and headed for bed.  As my head hit the pillow, to my utter astonishment, the earth began to shake and the entire three-story building began to sway!  Again, I was reminded that our true character is what we are in the dark!  

Safety was NOT in Panama City!

In those first few moments in the Darien with everything rattling around us, the Kunas in our house stood up totteringly and began to sing and pray!  We had found our safety in those first few moments…found only in a Sovereign and Almighty God who gives direction to the elements on earth.  For the weeks that followed the initial earthquake we had tremors of varying degrees every hour on the hour!  

Safety isn’t in a place or our best laid plans…
Safety IS in the Lord!

“…Then you will go on your way in safety and your foot will not stumble.”  Proverbs 3:23

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights.