5 Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat Anything!

God made such wonderful food for us to eat!  I found having children they tend to lean toward the processed, colorful and sugary foods not found on trees or in creation. No matter what we eat at home. 

“How do you get all your kids to eat their veggies?” a new mom asked me recently.  I thought about it for a moment and I realized all four of my kids eat whatever is served at the dinner table.

And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.” Gen 1:29

As a cancer survivor (twice now!), I cook pretty healthy.  Sure, my kids still love all the plastic, colorful foods created by man, but I want them to eat what is beneficial for their bodies and love it.  We will always have choices when we leave our home.  My kids go to birthday parties and enjoy the cake and candy, just like yours.  But when we are home, I am in charge of what they eat.  I do the grocery shopping and most of the cooking.

Reflecting over the last fourteen years, here are a couple of things we have done.

1. Be the best example to your kids.  My kids see me eating lots and lots of veggies.  In fact, if I eat anything that is different from my normal fare, the kids notice and say I am cheating!  By doing this, my kids have oftentimes asked to try my food and experimented with something, just because I am eating it.  Don’t be the mom telling her kids to eat healthy while she stands there with a Frappuccino and a scone in her hand (I used to be this mom!).
2. Be stealth with your ingredients.  I am stunned what my kids will eat if they don’t know what it is or if it is covered up somehow.  Zucchini with cheese, smoothies with kale, and cheeseburger soup loaded with veggies.  I always look for recipes with veggies in them. Even traditional classic dishes have alternative choices now on the internet.  I have also switched my kids to “look alike” snack items with much better ingredient list.  They have no idea because it tastes good.
3. Get your kids involved in cooking.  Some day your little princesses and knights will be old enough to help in the kitchen.  When they are, you will be amazed at what they will eat, if they have a hand in making it.  Even my 14 year-old son prefers to take a salad to school instead of a sandwich.  If he makes it, he is more apt to eat it.  Sometimes it is “kids’ day” and they are in charge of cooking dinner.  I am amazed at how similar they will cook dinner to how I would.  Something is rubbing off!
4. Tell them they have to try everything.  They say it takes 10 to 15 tries before a child will eat – and like – a different food.  Wow! That is a lot of stress to get them to eat one thing, let alone a whole bunch of new foods!  Yes, it is.  Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  As parents it is our job to train them up in many areas.  I believe teaching them how to eat healthy and with good portion control is our job.  So what if they won’t eat it? (see below under ‘drastic measures’)
5. Watch documentaries and internet videos about healthy food choices.  Nothing has a more radical effect on my kids than videos about good food or bad food choices.  Movies like Food Inc, Super Size Me, Forks over Knives, etc. will impact their food choices – and yours.  Last night my husband had the kids watch a YouTube video about “leaky gut” that promoted probiotics.  All my kids got up this morning and took all their vitamins and probiotics without me having to ask.

Our Drastic Measure

When our kids were little (under 4 years old), they all had a day where they refused to eat their food.  Every one of them. Luckily, I had a wiser older woman in my life who suggested we adopt an old principle dealing with food.  We decided to do what folks in the “old days” used to do and I am so glad we did.  Back to the days of no-nonsense parenting, I guess.

So when our little kids put up a fuss about their dinner, we asked them to eat it.  To at least take a bite.  And if they didn’t, then we would let them know they wouldn’t get any other food until they ate their whole dinner.  I realized very quickly this was a power struggle.  It really had more to do with them wanting the power than something different to eat.  So I served the same plate of food for breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner.  They were allowed to have water, but no other food. Not one snack.  There was so much whining, so much crying and so much demanding, I wanted to give up.  Obviously, this was a day I had to cancel everything and stay home with them.

Eventually, every single one of them got really hungry and ended up eating the entire dinner – even ice cold.  One of them went hungry for 36 hours!  Only one of them did it two times.  But I can tell you this: after this moment, they all ate their dinner or at least tried it and there was no argument (or power struggle) over “a bite” to try it.

It may sound drastic, but it worked for us and all four of our kids!  I also know it has worked for other friends, too.  Was it painful?  Yes!  Was it an inconvenience?  Yes!  But all my kids are great eaters now.  I just asked them all if they remember those days and we all got a good laugh about it!

What are ways that you have gotten your kids to eat healthy food?

Jackie's Journey: Do You Have Enough Faith to Pray?

If there was ever a time in history that called for us to fall on our knees…this is the time!

 “Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin;

pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.

 Lift up your hands to Him for the lives of your children.”

Lamentations 2:19 

Does your prayer life show the value of your children?

Years ago a godly friend from Nebraska, Ginny Steele, gave me an alphabet of character qualities with scripture that I could consistently and systematically pray into my two little Princesses.

It has now been extended as a prayer into the lives my seven grandchildren.

 It began with:

1. Alert to subtle sin and how to avoid involvement in it.  (Mark 14:36)
2. Bold to live for Christ and share the gospel.  (Acts 4:29)
3. Compassionate to the needs and hurts of others.  (Col. 3:12,13; 1 Jn. 3:7)
4. Dependability even if it involves sacrifice!  (Rom. 14:12; Psa.15:4)
5. Eagerness and Endurance to accomplish God’s best.  (Gal. 6:9)
6. Fruit of the Holy Spirit(Gal. 5: 22,23)
7. Gentle and Generous (Lu. 6:35-38; Pro. 15:1; 2 Cor. 9:6; 1 Thess. 2:7)
8. Humble enough to realize God and others are responsible for whatever achievements are attained(1 Pet. 5:6; Jas. 4:6) and verbally grateful!
9. Initiative to respond without being asked.  (Psa. 87:15, 16; Rom. 12:21)
10. Joyful because of harmony with God and others. (Psa. 97:11, 12; Pro.15:13)
11. Kind heart. (Hab. 3:18; 1 Peter 1:8)
12. Love for God, His Word and others.  (1 Jn. 4:7, 8; 1Cor. 13: 3)
13. Meekness of spirit.  (1 Peter 3: 4; Psa. 62: 5)
14. Never forsake the Lord.  (Joshua 24:16)
15. Obedient to God and other divinely appointed authority.  (Deut. 5:29; Rom. 2:13; 2 Cor. 10: 5)
16. Patience to wait on God.  (Jas. 1:2-4; Rom. 5:3,4)
17. Quality time with God daily and Quiet spirit.  (Psa.46: 10) Quick to confess sin. (1 Jn.1:9; Psa. 46: 10)
18. Repentant heart leading to knowledge of the truth.  (Job 11:14, 15; 2 Tim. 2:25)
19. Self-Control…a Separated Life.  (Titus 2: 11, 12; Gal.5: 24,25)
20. Truthful and Thankful with Transparent motives.   (Eph. 4:25)
21. Unique Ability to live by faith in the Living God.  (Gal.2:20; Eph. 2:8; 2 Cor. 5:7)
22. Virtue (Moral Purity) of spirit and life. (1 Thess. 4:3)
23. Wisdom to see life from God’s point of view. (Ecc. 2: 26; Jas. 1:5; Pro. 9:10)
24. Exalt God in everything. (Ex. 15:2; Psa. 99:5; Isa. 25:1)
25. Yield personal rights to God for victory over Anger. (Matt. 16:24-26; Gal. 5:24; Lu. 2:28; Titus 2:11, 12: Col. 3: 5)
26. Zero in on God’s Will daily.  (Rom. 12:2; 1 Jn. 2:17; Psa. 40:8)

Will you join me in obediently and faithfully

praying daily for our children and grandchildren?

Your prayer life for your children demonstrates their value to you! 

“Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin;

pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.

 Lift up your hands to Him for the lives of your children.”

Lamentations 2:19

Five Times a Week

“All great change in America begins at the dinner table” – Ronald Reagan

As we start into the new school year, I begin to protect the family calendar.  More importantly, I have to guard our family dinnertime with all my might.  Every sport and kid activity desires to claim this precious tradition and rob my family of our time together.  The every day moments that make us “The Youngs” are on the line.  The opportunity to pour into my kids during this daily practice will change who they are.

When the kids were little, every meal was at the dinner table.  But as they grow older, our goal is always a minimum of 5 family dinners together.  This can be either sitting down in our home or out to dinner. Meaning, of course, no cell phones, iPad, TV or invited guests.  Dinner together involves my family together – eating, talking, praying, laughing and loving. 

Here are just a couple of benefits:

1.  Your kids will eat more vegetables and new foods that you introduce.  At our house, you are required to eat the vegetable on the table.  Whatever it is.  We started this in the beginning.  They don’t have to finish the starch or the meat, but the veggies?  Definitely!  My kids will only eat a new food at our dinner table.  At least, I can get them to try it!

2. Your kids will be more emotionally healthy.  Studies show kids who eat with their families at least 5 dinners a week are less likely to get depressed, think of suicide or develop an eating disorder.  84% of teens were quoted as saying they would rather eat with their family, but “don’t tell my parents”.

3.  Your kids will learn to say “no”.  Kids who dine with mom and dad regularly are less likely to take a chance smoking, drinking or using drugs.  Connecting with mom and dad on a regular basis gives them the parental engagement most kids are looking for.

4.  Your kids will do better in school.  Only 9% of kids who eat dinner with their families 5 times a week struggle in school compared to the whopping 40% of kids who don’t.  Studies also suggest talking with adults helps vocabulary and manners.

5.  Your kid’s heart will bond to yours.  If you go the extra mile, not just eating together, but conversing and laughing together, your kids won’t want to miss dinner.

What do we do?

Our family starts dinnertime at the preparation where at least two children are involved as part of their daily chores.  One child has the chore of setting the table and one child helps mom prepare.  We rotate day to day.  We get dinner ready and chop vegetables.  Most the kids are happy when there is a new recipe to surprise everyone with or if it is a favorite family meal.  When dinner is over, one child does the dishes so mom can have a break.

When we all sit down to dinner, we have a routine everyone can count on.  First, we wait for everyone to get their food.  Next, we pray and thank the Lord for the food and we bless it to our bodies.  Thirdly, kids eat quietly while mom and dad talk for about 5 minutes.  Honoring my husband this way is always appreciated.  As the kids have gotten older, the rule has gotten more difficult to keep.  Still, it is part of our dinnertime.

We try to make things fun!  We have a box of questions to use to create fun conversation.  Many of our guests request we ask these at dinner.  Also we do what is called “Pits and Peaks”.  Tell us one thing (or more) that went well today or where you saw God at work – PEAK.  Tell us one thing that didn’t go as planned or areas God might be growing you – PIT.  Drawing out my children and hearing about their day (even if I have been with them) is priceless.

So as I am filling in the calendar for the new year, I put in the soccer, tennis, ballet, AWANAs, speech & debate and youth group.  Remembering when will dinner be.  On some days, dinner will be at 5:30 p.m. so we can all get to church and other days it will be at 7:30 p.m. when everyone is home.  Flexibility is the key!  I know our pastor’s parents told us sometimes they waited until 9:00 p.m. when everyone was home.  The family that eats, prays and laughs together – stays together! 

Maybe Ronald Reagan is right.  By keeping this practice, we may change the face of America!

How are you keeping the family dinnertime sacred?

*Statistics from health.com

When Princesses Grow Up...

"The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ..."   Romans 8:16,17

Some day your princesses will grow up . . .

I have two daughters. They came out of womb with the notion they were born for royalty.  No one told them this.  At about 18 months, my oldest daughter started to gravitate to everything pink and fluffy.  Before she ever saw a Disney princess or wore a costume, she put left over fabric around her and danced around saying, “Look at me mommy! I’m a princess!”

When they were little, my girls used to dress up in the most frilly, sparkly princess dresses and twirl around.  Nothing was too pink or too glittery to ever wear.  They would change their girly outfits from our well-stocked “dress up” box every hour.  Setting up tea parties, make believe lands and fashion shows were a daily occurrence.  Every once in a while, they would even try to put an outfit on their brothers.  This was regular life in the home of princesses.

I believe each of us is born a princess.  God made us to be a daughter of the King.  It is innate.  Before we ever see a Disney movie or a picture of Cinderella, our girls know they are made for greatness.  God has given them this gift of a purpose and a plan on this earth – our royal heritage. 

What a huge blessing and privilege it has been for our family to be given the stewardship of the Princess Parables ministry.  My girls were eight and five when the books first came out, and they couldn’t wait to dress up and help mommy at the booth.  But times change and our girls grow up!

In the last couple of months, my almost thirteen year old has decided being a princess is not for her.  She is maturing and likes to wear jeans with plaid shirts and Converse tennis shoes instead of lace and frills.  She wants a modern bedroom, not a princess bedroom.  She has asked to not dress as a princess at the conventions anymore and not have her identity be “a princess”.

While this was a huge blow to me and it has taken me a while to get used to, I can see God at work.  Even though it is our family ministry, my daughter can take on other jobs of service, and she doesn’t have to “dress up” anymore.  We are still working on her role exactly, but she does need to grow and figure out who she is.  And more importantly, who she is in Christ!  I need to keep my relationship with her whole because she is my heart and my love.

She will always be a princess on the inside.  She is a daughter of the true King and is created for greatness. God has His perfect plan for her.  She is still gracious, loving, kind, willing to serve, excellent in character and poised - even if she doesn’t wear a crown.  I am so grateful for the many years we have had this experience together.  I just honestly never saw the end coming.  I didn’t know one day it would be “her last” day to “dress up” at a convention.  Luckily for my heart, I still have one daughter (for the time being) who likes the Princess Parables.

So last weekend, I listened to my girls and we remodeled their “Princess” Bedroom.  Gone are the pink and purple walls. Here instead is a contemporary gray and turquoise palette. We have removed the case of porcelain dolls and tucked away the American Girl Dolls.  The princess beds have been traded for modern white ones.  And a sleek white IKEA desk has taken the place of stuffed animals and toys.  

As much as I would have liked them to stay little and be princesses forever, it is just not God’s plan.  I love the women they are becoming and the friends they are to me.  Yes, we have our “moments” in these young adult years, but they are a growing time for all of us.  I can’t wait to see all God has planned for their lives.

My advice to you moms of young princesses:  ENJOY!  If your girl wants to wear her princess dress to the grocery store, let her.  If they invite you to a tea party, go! I wish I had more often.  Take lots of pictures.  I realize now in the many of the “normal” moments of life, I never took pictures.  Some day, it will be their “last” and they will not stand up and announce it.  Enjoy every moment!

I am going to miss the frilly dresses, pink frosting and glitter everywhere, for certain, but I welcome these new grown up young ladies God has blessed me with!  It is a new season!

 I guess I will just have to wait for grand baby princesses to spoil!

Are You a Fun Mom?

I think I used to be fun a very long time ago, maybe before I was a mom. One of the reasons my husband married me in the first place was because he says I am fun (that was his #1 reason).  But as the years progressed and we had more kids, I changed.  My hormones were up and down. I slept less and took on more stress. I don't think I am fun anymore. 

With the kids, I often feel like the referee, the teacher, the cook, the maid, and the taxi.  Somehow it drains all the FUN out of me!

But I want to be a fun mom!  I always have wanted that . . .

After cancer, my attitude has been transformed.  I take each day that God has given me. I don't wait for the “next time” or when things might be “perfect”.  I just dive in because today might be my last.  Today might be your last. 

You just never know God's plans for you.  I think it is sad that it took cancer to get me back to being a more in-the-moment kind of mom.  One thing, I am no longer a bystander.  I now do so many more things than I used to, instead of just sitting around and watching others do them.

For instance, our Bible Study group, Elements, heads down to the beach each Tuesday with all our kids.  Each week I coax the ladies I am with into the ocean with me for a half hour.  One of them has not been in the ocean for 15 years!  We take in the waves, talk and shiver in the chilly Pacific waters.  I feel rejuvenated and refreshed. Today I asked the girls how old they felt jumping over the waves.  "12", one of them said.  Ah, we are living life! 

Now there are a bunch of health benefits to going in the ocean every week, which I just have to mention here.

First, the minerals in the sea air decrease stress and increase a sense of well-being.  Salt in water preserves the melatonin, tryptamine and serotonin levels in your brain.  This helps with fighting off depression or improving your sense of well-being. Going in the ocean water with your back to the breaking waves is like a reset of your emotional state.

Second, studies indicate that the minerals contained in the ocean’s water help with arthritis, psoriasis and even depression.  Other skin diseases, such as rosacea, eczema and rashes from plant allergies or heat are positively affected by the ocean water.  We decided today that we felt our skin was softer from our once-a-week plunges.

Third, ocean water contains iodine, which boosts thyroid function and improves the immune system.  When you are in seawater, the amount of oxygen carried throughout your bloodstream is improved and more nutrients are carried through your bloodstream to fight off free radicals. Ocean water also improves circulation of blood to organs.

Next, the swells and currents in the water act as a lymphatic massage to your whole body.  Being in the ocean water for a half hour is just like paying $80 for an expensive spa lymph massage.  Only God could know what our bodies need and provide a free alternative for our health.

Lastly, air particles break apart releasing ions into the atmosphere when the waves break.  Some scientists claim that sea air contains an abundance of negatively charged ions. These Ions are so good for us! In today’s society, we have too many positive ions in our lives.  You may know positive ions by another name – free radicals.  Because electricity, computers, TV and electronics are all sources of positive ions, it is easy to see why we have a shortage of negative ions.  Increasing our exposure to negative ions has many health benefits including enhancing the immune system, increasing alertness and improving concentration.  The negative ions from the ocean also help to reset your immune system and give you energy.

The biggest benefit is that my kids come and hang out with me in the water.  At least my girls do. So I am writing this for all the moms out there who want to stay in your beach chair this summer (like I have done so many years in a row!).  I had many excuses - I didn't want to get wet, it was too cold, I didn't want to have anyone see my overweight body, I didn't want to have to shower . . .  and so on.  JUST DO IT!  Whatever it is, experience God's creation with your kids!  Get in the ocean, the river, the lake - take that hike, jump in the pool with your kids . . . experience life!  This one life God has given you!  You never know when it will change - your kids will grow, your health may deteriorate - do it now before it's too late! 

The fun mommy in all of us is just waiting to come out. You never know – you might get healthier while you're at it!  Come join me this summer  . . . your kids, and probably your husband, will love it! Just picture our God in heaven smiling down watching you enjoy the things He made for you!  What could be better?

You shall go out in JOY and be led forth in PEACE"  Is 55:12

Parenting, Perseverance, and Porn

The following is a guest blog post from our friends at Generations of Virtue. 

If there is one virtue parents need when they decide to help their children pursue a lifestyle of purity, it is perseverance.

Recently a parent confided that despite her best efforts to keep her child away from pornography (teaching about the harmful effects, installing filtering software, being careful with media choices, etc.), she discovered her child had in fact searched for it. Thankfully, this parent had monitoring software installed on her child’s device, so she was able to tell quickly after the incident happened, what had actually happened. (For a good monitoring software, please check out our top pick: Covenant Eyes)

This parent was wise in her reaction. She didn’t respond in anger or shock, but waited a little while until she could calmly talk to her child about it. As she recounted the story, she was visibly upset. And rightfully so. It’s so traumatizing to know your child has searched out porn. It is shocking and very sad. It can make you feel like you have failed. Especially if you were taking steps to prevent this occurrence.

The temptation is to throw in the towel and say “well, I guess it didn’t work”. Please don’t do this, mom and dad. This would essentially be communicating to your son or daughter that he or she is not worth fighting for. It would also reinforce the myth that pornography addiction is not something you can overcome. Your kids need you to fight for them. They need you to roll with the punches and get back up when failure comes. They need you to remind them that there is nothing Christ has not forgiven and there is nothing that He did not overcome. And this ability to overcome He gives to us, too. Your kids need you to have relentless hope for them. They need you to pray for them and believe the best for them even when they can’t believe it themselves.

Perseverance is an essential element of relentless hope. When you hope for the very best for your kids, you start thinking that despite all the circumstances, despite what I see, despite all the evidence stacked up against me and my children, I choose to believe that we can pursue God’s holiness. We can seek to be like Him. We can overcome everything that is causing us to stumble. We can do this because of the blood of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit.

There is a promise in scripture I encourage you to pray over your situation if you find yourself struggling to persevere. Galatians 6:9 says “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

I pray the Lord blesses you and keeps you and helps you to persevere as you raise your children. I am convinced you will reap a very great harvest if you don’t give up.

– Megan Briggs

Megan is a guest blogger from an organization called Generations of Virtue. It is the goal of Generations of Virtue to transform culture, one family at a time, by teaching about sexual integrity and holiness. Megan's position as Product Manager keeps her busy researching, reading resources, managing inventory and speaking to young people.

Jackie's Journey: The Inspiration of Gratefulness!

“Give thanks in all circumstances (inclusive; no exceptions!), for this is God’s will for you…” 1 Thess. 5:19

Recently a missionary friend posted a picture from our New Tribes Missionary school.  It was taken in what we called “the little dorm” in our early years on the field.  In the picture of about 15 children were my two daughters.  Christina was about 4 and in the foreground was a less-than-2-year-old Kim.  The picture was not significant in itself but the fact that I could not recall when my girls could have ever been in that picture was significant!  I literally, burst into tears!

Christina, my eldest daughter, reminded me that they had spent 6 weeks in “the little dorm” after I was flown out of our village with a ruptured appendix.  There was unrest in Panama City (guns in the streets, riots, etc.) and the Military Police were closing the airport!  We were the last fight allowed to land or take off.  I was hastily loaded onto a gurney directly out of the plane and I watched our Cessna take off into the stormy skies with my two little ones inside! 

I was unaware of most of what was transpiring around me, but I knew my circumstance was bad.  I was rushed to the Military Hospital and was rapidly being moved down the corridor, when Ralph heard someone call his name.  He turned to see a Surgeon that we had recently met through our Pucuro partners.  She had been on duty for 72 hours when she caught a glimpse of Ralph in the hall and instantly turned to help us, never leaving our side until she had run tests, completed my emergency laparotomy and safely escorted us to the ICU hours later.  God had gone before us and sent her to us in His perfect timing…

This is the posted picture!  Are these not the cutest missionary children…ever!!

I am emotionally astounded that I was so desperately ill that I did not know where my two little girls were in those first days! My recovery was slow and I ran a low-grade fever for a year after this event.  Wanting to reunite our family as quickly as possible and return to the interior, which was our home, we found ourselves in a quandary because we could not get a release from the doctors to go back! 

As I’m writing this, my past and present merge and the surge of gratefulness is overwhelming!

How many people can you think of offhand who have benefited your life in the past?  Whose name immediately comes to mind?

Gratefulness is recognizing the benefits, which God and others have provided.

From the pilot risking his life to save mine to the missionary families who sacrificially opened their hearts and homes to us to see me recover, my heart overflows with inexpressible thanksgiving for their generosity toward our family during this conflicting time in our lives. 

Gratitude is the memory of the heart!  It is said to be the parent of all the other virtues.  My gratitude for those members of the field that picked up the slack and totally covered for me is overpowering.  

Norman and Barbara Slaymaker were the “little dorm” parents at that time and took the loving responsibility of my babies for six weeks after our pilot, Scotty, and his wife, Mary, filled the gap in those first few days in Panama City.  After leaving the hospital, John and Ruth Jenkins, our busy field leaders, “adopted us” for another six weeks (!) until the doctors would release us to return to our post!  What a tremendous weight we must have been…a family of 4 for months!!! 

My memories are scattered and few.  I isolated myself into a survival mode.  I really thought I was going to die.  I had no time for tears and cannot remember even wanting to cry during those weeks, although I am sure I must have and those whose care I was under would readily attest that I did!  My heart cannot express the genuine gratitude that is flooding my eyes and consciousness as I write this!  I am mentally rehearsing the personal cost of the missionary families that encouraged me during those days and blanketed me with prayer and hands of intervention!

Why this flood of overwhelming gratefulness?  Why now?  What is it about life that at unexpected moments God opens our awareness to the magnitude of His Sovereignty, Majesty, Grace and Mercy on our behalf?  

I am sitting here with a keen mindfulness of:

• My Unworthiness…and His Holiness!   
• My Pretense of thinking I have any kind of control in this life (other than to choose to walk with Him)…and His complete and encompassing Rule and Protection!
• My Powerlessness…and His Omnipotent Presence, faithfully accomplishing His purpose with my blindness to His silent footsteps all around me!
• My Desperate Need to express my gratefulness and indebtedness to God and others! 

Do you make it a habit to thank God and others for the many things in life that others take for granted?

I would like to express my gratitude to you for joining me each Monday morning and for your encouraging words.  I am so blessed! 

Will you take time today to reflect glory back to Him… the Author of every blessing?  Let’s take today’s opportunity to acknowledge those who have and are benefiting our lives!

Giving Value to Others

A few weeks ago, we had a Princess Parables tea at a local bookstore.  We got the opportunity to speak into the lives of sweet girls about the importance of manners and etiquette.  In a culture that does not value or teach manners on a regular basis, our children will stand out above the crowds, if they are taught just a few lessons.  They also have the opportunity to live out Christ’s command to love one another. 

What do we mean by Manners and Etiquette?

Proper etiquette and manners are defined as, “helping those around us to feel more valued and more comfortable.” Plainly speaking, just an extension of Romans 12:10.  I think it is more important to teach our kids this definition of etiquette instead of the old-fashion idea being something that is expected of them by society.  Help them to see people as valuable with a desire to make others feel special.

For our three to eight year old princesses and knights, here are a few suggestions:

Greetings and Introductions:  Learning to introduce yourself is an art.  Children need to be taught a couple of important tips to address an adult for the first time.  First, they need to keep eye contact with the person.  Second, they need to shake hands (with their right hand firmly).  Next, say your name.  “Hi, Mr. Smith. My name is Matthew”.  Lastly, smile!  The same rules apply for kids.  They may not shake hands (although some of my kids do), but in general it is good to go over this as well.  We also include in this area “The Art of Conversation”.  I have taught my kids at least 3 questions they can ask an adult or child to keep a conversation going.  As you can see, we need to prepare our children before they get to the moment.  For us, role-playing at home and reminders in the car keep everyone on track.

The Magic Words:  We all love to hear “please” and “thank you” coming from our children’s mouths.  However, just like any skill, it takes practice.  I don’t believe my child has grasped this concept until they do it without my prompting.  Being consistent with this, as a parent, drives the point home.  I often will have my children ask me for something.  For example, “Mom, I want juice”.  To which I will say, “Oh I would love to give you juice, but you forgot how to say ask for it properly”.  I will set the timer for 15 minutes, then you can come back and ask it again.  When she returns and says, “Mom, may I have juice, please?” I grant her request.  The same goes for “thank you” for the juice.  You only have to do this a couple of times before they get it.  I have found when children practice this at home, it comes naturally to them when they are outside the home. We have also role played with gift giving.  Having the right response for the gift your child doesn’t like is definitely a needed tool.  Another area children need to be instructed on is “Thank you” cards. We started really young with drawing pictures and by 1st grade all the kids could write most of their own “Thank you” cards.

Table Manners:  Family dinners are the perfect opportunity to develop good table manners.  When the kids were younger, we started with staying in their seat and keeping the food on the plate and in their mouths!  Eventually, they were old enough to graduate to no elbows on the table, napkins in the laps and sitting up straight, bringing the food to your mouth (difficult for some teens!).  We work on how to hold your fork, use your knife and chew your food.  Mealtime is a great way to teach the art of conversation also.  We have a time of sharing our day (“Pits and Peaks”) which first begins with quiet time for the kids while mom and dad talk.  This leads into a time where they share the best part of the day (God’s blessings) and the worst part of the day (What are you learning?). This time reaffirms the lessons of no interrupting and teaching kids to appreciate others’ differences while giving them a voice in the family.  Last, but not least, we develop the concept of cleaning up after yourself when dinner is finished.

With all the training opportunities, role-playing is the KEY!  I can’t say it enough – role-play, role-play, role-play . . .

Manners and etiquette don’t end there! A key resource for us has been The Etiquette Factory.  They are the “experts” on all things proper and they teach it all from a godly perspective.  Our family has still so far to go in this area!  I can tell you it does take work.  Remembering we are here to serve others and live out Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would have them do to you”, is an invaluable gift you can give your children. One worth the work you will put in.

How have you been teaching your kids to help others feel more valued and more comfortable in their presence?

Jackie's Journey: Are You a Wise Mom?

"Wisdom calls aloud in the street..." Proverbs 1:20

Do you consider yourself to be a wise person? 

We each hold value systems that form our basic philosophies.  These we purpose to pass on to our children through goals we set for them.  Our desire is that they wisely hold our most highly valued principles.  As caring moms, our goal should be nothing less than to produce wise children who are self-motivated to do good and hate evil. 

Where do we begin?...

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom and to fear the Lord is to hate evil.

 I, Wisdom, hate pride, arrogance, evil behavior (rebellion) and perverse speech.”

Proverbs 1:7; Proverbs 8:13

What is a wise child?  How would you recognize one?

Foolish children are easy to spot!

When Wisdom calls…LISTEN!

“Wisdom is seeing life’s situation from God’s point of view and acting in harmony with Him”. (ATIA)  We will recognize wisdom in our child through his or her attitudes, words, and actions!       

Knowing God and knowing our responsibility in life does not guarantee we will be successful in parenting!  If we do not know how or what to do…we are lost.  Most moms have teachable hearts that want to understand God’s instruction. Some even demonstrate a desire to honor God with a wise decision-making process regarding the manner of child development by adhering to God’s Word and voice when He calls!

 Proverbs 29:17 says our “Children are to bring us REST

And to DELIGHT our souls!

 Discipline your son or daughter and he will give you PEACE;

he will bring DELIGHT to your soul”.

 Do your children bring delight to your soul?

Do they bring you peace and give you rest? 

Wisdom is knowing the right path to take.  Integrity is taking it!

We want wise children with integrity!

When our girls were not bringing us “rest” and “delighting our soul” we knew we were failing in our training.  My life was not that much different than yours…lots of activity and responsibility and never enough time!  We were convinced, as you are, that our success as parents would come from making our children successful.

When we take responsibility for our child’s behavior, we are in a position to change it!  This is called Discipleship…the key to training.  The goal of raising a wise child should be to develop godly Character. 

“Godly character is developing right attitudes that produce right actions, habitually”. (RJ)

This involves the need for consistent “attitude training” which educates the spirit of a child, as well as the will. (Ask:  Was it kind? Was it considerate?).  It brings integrity back into focus by replacing the “action-response” teaching  (“Mom said, don’t do that! Don’t touch! Stop it, I said don’t touch…no…no”)!

 “Action-response” teaching has this sequence:

• Warning
• Warning
• Elevated tone of voice
• Threat added for emphasis
• No consequence with total resolve

This sequence cultivates REBELLION!  God hates rebellion…

“For rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft…”!  I Samuel 15: 23 

Developing character in our little “Prince and Princesses” presupposes that WE are wise women of godly character!  “We are known and read by our children all the time…” I Cor. 3:2.  There is no hiding our true character…they read our spirit!

Do you know the test for measuring your own character?? 

 Character is revealed by what we do in secret and

 Maturity is revealed by what we do with our free time (T.V.; computer ;iPhone; iPad; books, magazines, music, FB, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, shopping, etc., etc..)

What do I do in secret?   What do I do with my free time?

Abraham Lincoln said, “There is just one way to train a child in the way he should go and that is to travel that way yourself!”

We are an example, or an excuse!!

Children learn what we are first, through our attitudes; then, what we teach them.  Training is first discipleship and then learning! Our job is to cause that learning in our child by lovingly training them to submit to our authority so they can be taught. 

A child that is not under control of his/her authority is preoccupied with resisting that authority and he/she cannot receive teaching!

The child that resists authority IS the teacher!!

When the course of action you are using has the goal of developing godly character through attitude training, the child will mature with wisdom and balance and will understand purpose in his or her life. 

What course of action are you on?

Heroes

HEROES.

Why do we love heroes so much?

We all love heroes because we are created to admire goodness. We want to emulate those who share our ideals – things like courage, honor and justice.  Heroes who make the hard, but right choices give us hope in the future.  We choose heroes who symbolize the person we would like to be and ambitions we would like to satisfy.  My husband loves William Wallace in Braveheart, Andy in Shawshank Redemption and Edmund in the Count of Monte Cristo.  I love Anne in Anne of Green Gables, Dorcus Lane in the Larkrise to Candleford or Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice.  Each of them speak to my heart.  I can hear their stories again and again.  Tell me who your heroes or heroines are and it can tell me a lot about you.

A couple of weeks ago, we celebrated the end of school with a history feast.  The kids and I reflected on their year studying the end of the Roman Empire to the Revolutionary War.  Part of the year was spent reading 16 historical fiction books.  This form of literature brought history to life for my kids AND gave them heroes to inspire them.  Many of the books were “old-fashioned” with tried-and-true wisdom.  These heroes made right choices, had virtuous character and inspiring actions.  I find this is one of my favorite parts of schooling.

Who are your kids’ heroes?

As we move into summer, my kids continue to read.  I want them to read.  With older children now, I find the library to be a bit challenging.  Somehow vampires and witchcraft have become commonplace among teen literature content.  We have to search and search for good books.  My elementary children find examples of bad attitudes and poor choices among the “favorites” of their peers.  I keep asking, “Where have the true heroes gone?”

The Princess Parables were created for this very reason.  Not only did we want to have inspiring princesses any girl would want to be like, we also wanted to teach God’s word and wisdom.  While the Princess Parables is an outstanding summer reading option, there needs to be more in the book baskets for our kids this summer.

Children just don’t stubble upon excellent reading options, but they are created for them.  I have to have a plan this summer for all of my kids.  Join me as we engage in the pages of literature recommendations from Read for the Heart by Sarah Clarkson and Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt.  Both of these books are wonderful guides to life changing literature for our kids.  Giving our kids heroes to build their character, their adventurous hearts and their imagination.

What does your summer reading list look like?

Will you introduce your kids to their next heroes?