Jackie's Journey: Life Unraveling?

             “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him" Job 13:15

Our village was tucked away near the Colombian border and we lived in the silence of the jungle and its peculiar sounds.   One late morning there was an unfamiliar roar in the distance.  A large helicopter appeared and began circling our village, dropping low, looking for a place to land.  Before we knew what was happening, dust flew and the door slid open.  Men dressed in full military uniforms with machine guns jumped out and stormed into our house. Guns drawn, pointed directly at us, they began shouting commands with accusations!

My life started unraveling before my eyes!  I quickly grabbed little Kim and Christina came running, clutching my legs. I reached down to reassure her, as Ralph stepped in front of us, whispering to me, “Remember, Jackie, this touched God’s hand first”. 

 We were being accused of being spies for the United States and they demanded we turn over our only means of communication to the outside world: our two-way radio!

I was trembling, imagining every plausible scenario of how we could be easily disposed of in the river and no one would know for months!  The truth that came surging into my consciousness was Job 13:15, “though he slay me, yet will I hope in HIM”. 

 Still standing between the enemy and us, Ralph appeared calm and was responding in Spanish with an absolute, “We are not spies from America.  We have permission from your government to bring medicine to help this isolated group of people.” 

How had this happened?  What could we do?

The next few moments stood still…their shouting gestures and my seeing no way of escape brought the verse in Job home to my heart.  I resolutely accepted His will, whatever that was going to be and instantly, peace prevailed.  What happened next was beyond belief!  To our utter astonishment, as abruptly as those militant soldiers arrived…they hastily, mid-sentence, without another word, turned and left!!  They did not ask for our passports or visas, nor did they take our rifles that were in plain view, hanging on the wall!  God had blinded their eyes and in an instant, redirected their path.

 In the aftermath of my processing through this event, Ralph gave me a definition for “tribulation” that comes to mind every time I am faced with a trial and I just want it gone…no processing…just gone!  “Tribulation is God’s fastest road to maturity”.  Well… missionary life had definitely put me in the fast lane to grow up!  The more life I live, the more I realize how much growth I need!

 This is that definition in a “mathematical” formula that changed my life and the way I look at trials, inconveniences, suffering and contentment.  It goes like this:

 Trials + Acceptance of the trial with joy and thanksgiving = Growth/Maturity

I can respond to trials by:

(1) Benefitting from them

The pressure of trials produce (Jas. 1:2-4):

Faith

Patience

Perseverance

Maturity

Wisdom

Lacking Nothing!

                                          OR

   (2) Reacting to them and locking down emotionally with: 

Impatience 

Fretfulness

Why me?

Depression

Complaining

Rebelliousness or bitterness

 I choose to yield with gratefulness this morning and to recognize any form of tribulation, as a means to create a greater purpose for the benefit of others.  

                                                      What is your response? 

Jackie's Journey: Arachnids...Scared, But Not Defeated!

Washday in the jungle was an event, not just a necessity!  It required a trip to the river with two little ones in tow, a washtub (like great-grandma used) full of clothes, diapers, sheets, etc., soap and a washboard.  Finding a rock that wasn’t already being used was the next challenge after descending the 12’ bank!  The swirling river was the agitator and the most difficult part of the whole exercise was wringing the clothes tight enough so they would dry after being hung.

The Kuna women would laugh at me, while their little ones entertained mine by chasing, splashing and diving around us.  Those were the “good ‘ole days”.  One blessing, and their were many, was that my girls learned to swim like little fish very early, against the current!

If it was dry season, the wash would dry in 2 hours.  During rainy season we might hang the clothes two times or more in one day.  Most garments were mildewed and never really dried completely until dry season returned!

One spring day my clothes carried an unwanted visitor inside the house. We had open wooden shelves and as I lifted the last clean sheet, I caught something moving in my peripheral vision.  Now…let me be clearly understood…I will take a snake, any size, over a spider any day!  

This particular spider was a creature of undeniable presence!  I screamed so loud that half the village came streaming through my front door.  One look at the intruder and my husband and Arturo, our closest neighbor, told us all to get out!  Apparently, this venomous arachnid was dangerous!  I could not understand their hesitation in just eliminating it.  I wanted that spider dead…I did not want him alive for an encore another day…

Earlier that month our cat had found a huge, and I mean huge, scorpion under our bed.  I picked up my husband’s size 14 army boot and squashed it’s 12” body dead, in one fell swoop, as our 8 month old daughter came crawling into the room!  Now, “hear me roar”…I’m not kidding…I REALLY wanted that spider dead! 

Fear is our friend…it is an emotion induced by a threat, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior.  “Courage is being scared to death…and walking through the door of fear to victory”.  (R. J., my husband)  In the book Hind’s Feet in High Places, I would clearly be little “Much Afraid”.  Shortly after being challenged to carry the name of Christ to unreached tribal people, I read in Luke 10:19 where Jesus sent out the seventy-two with the promise, “ I have given you authority to trample snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you”!  That verse immediately came pounding into my consciousness and I claimed that promise, given to those who take the gospel into uncharted territories.  As jungle living became my daily experience, I would often return to those precious words that brought peace that day.  Over and over again during those years of the unexpected, I would claim its truth when I was tempted to yield to panic.

Jackie's Journey: Inspiring Imprints

As a young missionary mother reading to these two little ones sitting next to me in a hammock in the middle of the Panamanian jungle, my heart yearned for books that would introduce my girls to bible-based, character-emphasized prince and princesses that they could aspire to become.  I would take every book I picked up and purpose to impose these two principles into the pages in terms they could understand that had eternal values targeted.  My two daughters, Christina and Kim, are now grown and have given me seven grandchildren!  Christina encouraged me for years to sit down and put on paper what I did to the stories I read in those early years.  Her cry for these books for her four little ones was my primary motivation.

The opportunities are unlimited when it comes to God building His character in us, and then, into those we love.  Understanding the need and exercising the steps of action needed to see them implemented is our challenge.  When you look at your children where do you see their primary need?  Taking into consideration their temperament, maybe the need for them to be more alert or to respond more quickly in obedience?  Maybe rebellion is the issue or selfishness?  Where would you begin to help the little prince or princess in your home? 

 Values are based on the changing opinions of what people or groups of people practice in their principles or ideals.  Character is based on universal standards that are time-tested and recognized as being ethically correct.  Character is written on every person’s heart and conscience (Romans 2:15).  Even though the basic truth of a character quality is understood, it is important to know how to apply the truth in daily circumstances. 

I have collected positive character quality definitions for years because they describe pieces of the Godhead and assist in my personal spiritual exercise and transformation.  They equipped me to pragmatically instruct my girls as we walked through daily activities living in a culture very different than our own. In the village where we lived, the Kuna practice of polygamy and early marriages combined with witchcraft, including a village witchdoctor, opened up interesting teaching opportunities.

This past week the oldest of these two little princesses in the hammock saw her two daughters, my granddaughters (now 16 and 14), accomplish an extraordinary act of compassion in just a few days. I was asked to wrap a collection of gifts, gift cards and get-well cards with money that they had gathered to give to Alexandra’s teacher at school.  Her heart had been challenged to encourage this young single woman, who had recently left her parents and siblings on the East Coast to answer a call to serve in our community here on the West Coast.  She had taken a daily six-hour cancer treatment three months earlier and had quietly gone alone for the last six weeks, not wanting to burden or inconvenience anyone else.  During her follow-up appointment, the doctors found the cancer had returned…aggressively!   Alexandra tearfully shared with her sister, Catherine, the sadness she felt.  Catherine, who is the school’s “Kindness Club” director, immediately joined hearts and hands with her sister, their mother (Christina), and many who heard of the need. Within just a few days they had gathered a huge basket…full of encouragement for this teacher!  

We respond to life according to our character, good or bad.  Our wrong responses indicate our need.  Our correct responses validate our victories.  For me, this was a victory of gigantic proportion.  Three generations clasping hands to compassionately encourage a hurting heart! Princess Charity in our Princess Parable Series was faced with the same choice my granddaughter’s faced.  Webster’s definition of Compassion is  “together + suffering; deep sympathy, pity”.  1 John 3:17 says, “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?”  Compassion is doing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts and meet the need of another.  Christ is the greatest teacher that ever lived and our example. His compassion for us carried Him to the cross!  Living outside our own self-life, being alert to another’s pain and choosing not to walk by without lifting a hand is our “Call to Action” this glorious Monday. 

These are the same two princesses pictured in the hammock …today!

Sitting on the Sidelines?

“Taste and see that the Lord is good . . . .”  Psalm 34:8 

I used to be the mom that sat on the sidelines . . . . or in the beach chair.

A few years ago, I was comfortable with things in my life I was familiar with.  I had gotten a bit relaxed and downright boring.  I was overweight and uncomfortable stepping out of my regular routine of being a mom.  I was a set in my ways.

You see, at heart, I am an adventurer.  At least, that is how I view myself.  I have always been the one who is game to eat anything.  I will taste almost any food.  I have eaten wiggidy grubbs (worms in the Outback of Australia that tastes like peanut butter), crocodile in the Everglades, rattlesnake in Arizona, fish brains in Egypt and sturgeon with cod liver oil in Moscow.  So I am not afraid of many things.

I am also game to travel anywhere!  God has taken me to the most exciting places!!!  I have served him door knocking in Manly Beach, Australia and in the jungles of Costa Rico at an orphanage camp.  I have found myself teaching English in Cairo and digging up 1st century artifacts in Caesarea Philippi on an archeological dig.  I have seen danger being bombed by the Lebanese and lost on a bus alone in El Salvador with no passport.

Living on the edge was my middle name in my twenties.  I loved it!  So what happened to me when my kids came along?  I no longer liked roller coasters, crazy food choices or anything that looked dangerous.  I was happy with constant, routine and structure.

I am not saying that any of those things are wrong. Quite the contrary, my family thrives on constant, routine and structure.  But, for me, that just couldn’t be the end of my story.  There was so much I was missing . . .

I believe that God has this special “switch” that turns on after you have babies.  The one that keeps us alive for the offspring we have “created”.  I feel it at the top of a black diamond ski run and on helicopter trips over volcanoes in Hawaii.  It is something innate that God gives us to stop us from danger.  But, for me, this internal switch, along with laziness, was keeping me from so much more.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I had a moment – a weekend – where they told me on Friday night that I had all the symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer, which had a 10% survival rate.  They could not tell me until Monday what the test results were - so it was a very long weekend.  I had a lot of time to ponder life and death that weekend.  Not that I would ever wish that weekend on anyone, but honestly it was EXACTLY what God wanted for me because I had been missing the BEST things in life. 

So now, I embrace the verse:  “Taste and see that the Lord is good”.  It has come to mean so much to me.  I am more willing to explore and be the adventurer again.  I get in the water at the beach, instead of sitting in the beach chair.  I am windsurfing, skiing, hiking, bike riding and playing!  My kids love that I am doing these things WITH them!  I am enjoying God’s creation because there are so many incredible things out there that He created for our enjoyment.  My friend, Sally Clarkson, says it best, “God is the artist who throws the stars into place, he created peppers for fajitas, music to dance to, chocolate for brownies, fingers to massage, hands to hold and life to enjoy”.

Where are you sitting back and letting life happen around you?

Where must you “Taste and See” God today?

I am right there with you!  Let’s get out there and experience God’s goodness!

Jackie’s Journey

Child Neglect!?

Once born, a wildebeest calf has 15 minutes to stand and run with the adult herd, or it will be killed by predators (usually, hyenas).  The wildebeest mother will take on a pack of hyenas and sacrificially, single-handedly fight…until death to preserve the life of her calf. (Bill Gothard, Character Sketches)    There are countless “hyenas” that will be used to devour the life of these God is entrusting into our care.               

What is our commitment!??  

Our Alertness To His Will And His Way Is Imperative! 

Being intentional is our only option!

“Life is a stewardship; not an ownership; A TRUST; NOT A GIFT. With a gift you may do as you please; but with a trust you must give an account (Ephesians 2:10).  God holds us responsible. We will answer to HIM!

AND…Time is short!! 

The journey of life brings trials, triumphs, tragedy and achievement.  Through all of this, a dedicated mother’s love remains constant.  Would you consider yourself to be a dedicated mom: a mom that is committed to the success of your child first, above yourself? I know we are fraught with the demanding activities and social media that keep us exhausted from one day to the next; but are we, through it all, rejoicing moms that keep the ultimate goal in view?  By the way, what is your “ultimate goal”?  Do your children view the goal and actively participate, involved in “giving” of themselves, or are they “me first”, “takers”, full of entitlement?

 Let me encourage you with all that you are in Christ and to give you the promise He left with all of us that bear the title MOTHER:  1 Thes. 5:24 says,  “Faithful is He who calls you, Who will also do it.”  However, it is a conditional promise…we have to let HIM!  On that day of accountability there will be NO excuses!    This is our call to action…

HOW DO WE DO THIS??  Where do we start?

When I think “steps of action” I think work, HARD WORK!  In that same thought comes the comfort of new direction and hope for a positive change.  In the introduction of our Princess Parable Blog site we looked back at 2014 only to find 2015 “approaching with stomping feet demanding Action”…Steps of ACTION!

Are you ready, Moms?  Here is a test of our dedication and commitment…

(1) Do we “Walk Our Talk?!”  Or do we make excuses for our wrong responses?  Do we call impatience what it really is…ANGER? And how about overuse of social media…CHILD NEGLECT?  Or MISSED OPPORTUNITY?!  There are no “socially acceptable sins”… Rudeness is self-first; Discouragement (or “I deserve better”) is Entitlement (the very attitude we battle in our children!)  Purpose to pursue holiness; moment-by-moment… Mothers of conviction, not compromise!

(2) Are we open to Teachable Moments? Please note: Most interruptions are the teachable moments!  Purpose to take advantage of the moments we are least wanting to take advantage of!

(3) Are we Intentional and Consistent?  All decisions we make carry a consequence…positive or negative.  Purpose to teach your child this truth and in doing so, enable him/her to learn to hear the voice of God.  Dial your life into the kingdom of God…Have HIS purpose wrapped in HIS WILL, not your own!

(4) Are we Character-focused? Note the attitude in which the words or eyes are speaking to you…read your child’s spirit and you will identify the REAL NEED!

(5) Are we Grateful…regardless of the circumstance?  Gratefulness wards off discouragement.

(6) Are we Diligently Prayerful?…Lamentations 2:19 “Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.  Lift up your hands to HIM for the life of your child”!

The definition of the word “purpose” means “resolute, unwavering, deliberate”…Commitment requires sacrifice.

Whether a bush nurse, a missionary mom, a city mom or whatever our title may be…each of us is called to be a godly mother with a profound and sacrificial love for our children.  The calling is to “count the cost” and to love with the purpose of making these entrusted to us more successful than we could ever be for HIS glory!

Saying Goodbye

My daughter’s best friend moved to New Zealand this week.

In the light of this, many emotions faced my sweet nine year old.  You see, these girls are special BFFs.  They both share an unusual name – Emmalynn.  Having the same name bonded them instantly.  They both have the same nickname and have been tagged – Emmy and Emmi – since the start.  They are creative, outgoing, spunky, driven, spiritually aware, musical and full of energy.  They are princesses together.  They are kindred spirits.

Our friends decided to move to New Zealand to plant a church and move closer to family.  They made the plan last summer so it has been a long time coming.  Finally, the last week had arrived and we could hardly believe that the time had come.  The familiarity of seeing each other every day has now come to an end and they are on an airplane 1,000s of miles south of the Pacific.

As we had the last sleepover at our house and we talked of the last times that we were spending together, I noticed my Emmi was acting aloof.  She made comments about how she didn’t want to see Emmy and that she didn’t need to have her over for a playdate.  My Emmy said she had new friends now.  She said each sentence with such assuredness, but underneath I could see how much she was hurting.

Have you ever run away or hurt someone you love because you didn’t know how to deal with the feelings?

I have.

Funny . . . isn’t it?  Oh, how we humans try our hardest to self-preserve and not FEEL!  My sweet, lovely girl just wanted to stuff those emotions and even tried being mean to her dear friend, just because she couldn’t figure out how to FEEL.  She was afraid – really afraid to be sad and see her friend leave her side.

“New Zealand is really far away, Mom!”, she said more than once.  “Yes, yes, it is!” I would reply.

God’s reply is in I John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear . . .”

Emmi was afraid to love anymore because she knew she would have to say goodbye.  It reminded her of when I had cancer and she pulled away emotionally from me.  She thought for a season that I was going to die.  She pulled away from me to protect herself and it took months for me to bring her back.  I had to put in hours of alone time with her to win her heart again.

The day came to say goodbye for the last time.  There were promises of writing and of skyping, but we all knew it would be different.  Together we held hands, cried and said goodbye, but goodbye is only for a time.  We will see them again.  But we do mourn this season that is gone.  They will never be nine again, in this stage, seeing each other every day, sharing life . . .

God replies Ecc. 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, a time to every purpose under the heaven”.

Have you ever mourned a passing of a season of life?

So that day was hard.  Both Emmi and I had to discuss how we felt.  I made her put words to the feelings inside.  This was the teaching moment.  Then we focused on the things to thank God for.  Otherwise, the sadness would overtake us.  Being thankful lifts your spirit more than anything else.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” 1 Thes. 5:18

We are so grateful for our friends.  We are grateful that God entrusted us with them for “a season”.  We are thankful to have been loved by them – in the way God loves us.  We are excited for them as they embark on their new adventure and we will pray for them.  We are looking forward to saving up points to visit New Zealand some day.  We are grateful for you, Emmy, Cyndi and the whole Weeks family.  You were a good idea.  We are so grateful God thought you up.  We love you!  Go and save New Zealand!

Share with us a time when you had to say goodbye, how did God use it to draw you closer to Him?

Are you in community?

Mothering is hard work.
Mothering is harder alone.

Being a good wife takes effort.
Being a good wife without support is difficult.

Staying the course requires discipline.
Staying the course is easier with cheerleaders.

I was a tomboy growing up.  I had two younger brothers; we would play tackle football on the beach, wrestle and race to wherever we could.  I think it is funny that God took that tomboy and planned for her to author the Princess Parables.  Maybe that is why I wanted Charity to have boots on under her skirt!

In my teen years, something changed in me and I began to want to be more “girly”.  I began liking dresses, tea parties and pink.  Even in those days, I always gravitated toward boys for friends because the girls always seemed to have more drama.

As a newly married woman, I saw the need to have more girl friends in my life. It was no longer appropriate to have the “boy” friends, and my husband was now my best friend.  When I was a new mom, I longed for fellowship and deep connections with women, even though I saw much of the same drama as in Middle School.  The Lord had changed me, and I saw that I desired friendship with those in the same life stage as me.  I was blessed to be in the ministry of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) for 8 years.  God brought around me women who loved the Lord and shared similar desires to serve Him in all we did.

Finding community is so important as a mom.  I am not just talking about women who have kids our kids like to play with, but real “kindred spirits”.  I prayed hard for women who shared my same faith and who had a desire to change the world.  I looked for women who followed God and listened for His voice.  I found a community of women who cheer me on, who came to my rescue when cancer hit, and who inspire me to be the woman God wants me to be.

This did not happen overnight.  There were many women who have come in and out of my life at different seasons who played a part.  There are many women who I didn’t connect with and there were many who moved on into a different place in their life.  But today I have a community of ladies in my Mom Heart group and in my Elements Bible Study that fill the need for community.  God continues to bring women into my life for each step He has given me.

I have heard too many stories of women . . . alone, who struggle as a mom, as a wife and struggle to follow God’s call.  I had struggles along the way, too, and I could not have survived without my friends.  They served practical needs: brought me meals when I had babies and watched my kids when I had doctors’ appointments.  They also filled in the gaps for me spiritually as they prayed with and for me.  They have inspired me to be a better mom, a happier wife and to go after the callings that I have felt God has placed on my life.

If you don’t have a community of like-minded women in your life, here is what I suggest:

1.  PRAY!  I really believe that God will lead you to the right group of women.  Be patient!  It will take time.

2.  START YOUR OWN GROUP.  I have either started or been on the leadership team for each of the groups I have been involved in.  Either at my home or church, I believe if you invite them, “they will come!”

3.  GO TO A MOM HEART CONFERENCE!  Sally Clarkson is a gifted speaker, writer and woman!  I have learned so much from her!  Going to her conferences have introduced me to like-minded women who have become my core group of friends.  Surround yourself with those who spur you on to becoming a Godly woman.  There is a conference coming up in either CA, TX or CO. http://momheartconference.com/register/

Do you have cheerleaders?

Do you have someone to pick you up?

Where do you turn for a shoulder to cry on?

Won’t you make it your goal for 2015 to find a community of women to BELONG?