Cancel Cancel. And Replace

70% of the words you speak each day are to yourself . . . all inside your own head.

Of those 65,000 thoughts you have each day only 5,000 are new.

What are we telling ourselves?

The majority of us have a variety of negative things we say over and over to ourselves.  Much of it is subconscious, but so much is retold to ourselves in our mind.  We have a constant tape recorder replaying things people told us when we were young or things the Evil One throws out to deceive us.

What is a negative thought?  Whatever is not wholesome, or is proud, or just does not line up with God’s word or His plan.  These untruths bring us into a place of negativity.

Here are some of mine:

You are fat.

You are not good at that.

She doesn’t like you.

You are not a good mother.

I can’t. . . .

I should have . . . .

I know I am not the only one who struggles with negative thinking.  I am told I am a very positive person, but if you only knew the thoughts I struggle with in my head.  I can completely understand why God put this verse in the Bible.

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

How do we take our thoughts captive?

The thing is, the thought comes in and there is not much we can do about it.  Or so I used to think.  Because my mind created such impulses and desires, I knew I needed to grab on to this verse.  I wanted to handcuff those negative thoughts and throw them in jail!

Once I attended a class on Mental Detoxing and I learned the key to this verse.  It lies in the words “cancel-cancel”.  I started to listen to my inner voice and hear what I had been saying to myself.  Once I identified a negative thought, I would say “cancel-cancel” to myself.  Then I replace the negative thought with a positive one, something more inline with God’s word.  For example, “My body is sick and I am not getting any better”.  I replace it with “God is healing my body and I will get better”.

Much research has gone into the idea that our bodies - our very cells - listen to us.  They take command from us.

Other thoughts I may have like “I am fat” can be replaced with God’s word, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”. 

You can always substitute a lie, with truth . . . with God’s word.  “Cancel-Cancel” and replace.

So I am encouraging you mom, and myself.  Can we replace those thoughts in our mind with truth, with positive thoughts?

My prayer for us today is Philippians 4:7:

“Father God, I pray for all us moms.  Help us to take our thoughts captive.  May we have the peace of you, Father, which transcends all understanding, that will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus”.

Recharge Your Batteries

I have often thought moms do little for themselves.

We are busy taking care of children, being a wife and focused on keeping a home.  Yes, we are doing Kingdom work right in our homes.  And it is a 24/7 job!

But, honestly, are you tired?

Are you burned out?

Have you snapped at your children lately?  Or your husband?

A few weeks ago, in Yosemite, I stole the time to take one of the art classes in the National Park – four hours long!  My mom and friends watched the kids as I sat under the trees painting Half Dome.

I learned to see the world from a contemporary modern artist.  While this is not my favorite medium, I learned something new.  I was able to reflect on the glory of God amidst the towering granite rocks and small wildflowers at my feet.  God’s majesty is everywhere in creation and painting it brings me closer to Him.

I did not feel guilty.  Perhaps years ago I would have, but now after cancer, I see the value in time away.  Time to breathe.  Time to reflect.  Not only do I strive to do this daily in a quiet time, but now I seek out opportunities that fill my soul regularly. 

I take time to recharge so when I am present with my family and my husband, I am truly present.

This is no easy task.  At home and in my life, there are thousands of things to do and lists to accomplish.  I have to carve out the time and make it a priority.  No one else will do this, but me!

So can I encourage you, moms of princesses and knights?

Can you take time for yourself this week?  And when you do, put into action 1 Cor. 10:31.  Find your place and “bring glory to God” wherever you are.

A couple of ideas:

1. Do something active.  Take an exercise class, ride your bike, or take a walk.
2. Do something soothing. Take a bubble bath. Go to the spa, or get a massage.  Go to coffee with a friend.
3. Do something outdoors.  Go to nature.  Wherever you live, God is there in His creation.  The mountains, the beach, the desert.  Find a quiet spot and journal, hike or paint.
4. Do something quiet.  Read a book alone with a candle lit and your favorite drink.  Watch the sunrise.
5. Do something creative.  Take the hobby out of the closet.  Start it up again: quilting, scrapbooking, pottery class, whatever makes you happy.

Our kids and our husbands love it when mom is happy and joyful. 

How will you find time for yourself this week?

A Birthday to Remember

Last week, it was my husband’s 50th birthday! 

We have many family traditions revolving around birthdays. First, we start with the ever-popular waking-you-up-in-bed-with-presents custom.  Then we have a breakfast choice for the birthday boy on a “You are Special” plate.  We almost always have a party of some kind and a more recent idea is for my daughter to bake a special cake (like the one above).

But my favorite birthday heritage is our Affirmation Dinner.

Everyone in my family knows that this is part of being a Young.  On your birthday, we will go around and share something to acknowledge the masterpiece YOU are becoming.  Eph. 2:10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

So if you are at our house on a birthday, we will eat dinner and then I will say something like, “It is time to affirm the birthday girl (or boy)! Who would like to go first?”  Then, someone will begin and everyone will participate going around the table.  That is a Young Family Rule!  Everyone has to say something!

Here are some questions that we use while affirming others:

Where have you seen God working in that person’s life?  What are character qualities that you see in that person?  What are three things you love about them?  What have they done in the last year that has been a blessing to you?  Do you see them changing the world around us, if so, how?

Just answer one of those questions and you are well on your way to an Affirmation Dinner.  Now the funny thing is I don’t always like being in the center on my birthday.  But I have this friend who insists on a girlfriend get-together to do birthday affirmation and then we do it at home too.  So on my birthday, I receive a double-dose of affirmations.

My friend, who initiates these affirmations, has the love language of “Words of Affirmation”.  She is literally “loving” me by doing this.  For some people, who have this love language, this is the best form of loving to them.  There are 5 love languages and if you don’t know yours, you can take this quick test here.

I have asked the Lord why I don’t like them that much.  Sure, I like hearing all the good stuff . . . but somewhere down inside, I feel like I don’t deserve it.  I squirm a bit.  But God reminded me last year that not only is it a blessing to hear the kind words of others that paint a picture of how I am becoming His masterpiece, but it also blesses those that speak it.  Encouraging and uplifting is a command in the Bible: 1 Thes. 5:11 encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 

The blessing of doing affirmations is found in Hebrews 3:13: But encourage one another … so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Did it really just say that if I am not affirming and encouraging others that I might be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness?  YES!!  So not only is the one that is receiving the affirmations blessed, but the one giving it, too!

So won’t you consider blessing those around you with the words they so long to hear?  How can you affirm them on their birthdays or even today with encouragement?