Posts tagged #my worst fear

Jackie's Journey "Terror to Trust!"

“The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.”

Psa. 142:11

 

My introduction to our new life in the village Pucuro was a “Shocker”.   My youngest daughter’s   disappearance from my arms in those first moments after arriving on the riverbank caused my entire being to experience sheer terror… my first anxiety attack!

 However…skipping that one-day would have been the loss of a life-lesson that changed my life!

 Missionary Boot Camp training had been deliberate in preparing me for this crisis.  My mind was reminded of the reason why we had come and the promise I had claimed two years prior to the moment I was living now!  “…Whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease without fear of harm.”  The verse worked so well when we lived in the states!  Proverbs 1:33 is written by the “wisest” man that ever lived and it had always given me courage to keep on.

 Have you ever claimed a promise from God and then panicked when put to the test?

 Two men from our mission had contacted these unreached tribal people two years before.  The Kunas had asked for someone to come and bring them the medicine and help they needed to keep their babies from dying at birth.  Some of the mothers were weakened by tuberculosis.  There were multiple infections and parasites of every kind…would someone answer that call?

 Well…we answered…and they had taken my baby!

 My heart sank as I scanned the agitated crowd in the dimness of the dark night.  Certainly, no electricity here!  Pitch black, drenched bodies, dark faces, barking dogs, slushy mud path and no baby.  My heart pounding and unaware of my personal discomfort or how I must sound, I stood dripping wet in a downpour, screeching in a foreign tongue…calling into the wind for my lost child.

 Completely overwhelmed by my loss I saw someone slip out of the darkness and run in my direction.  Stretching over people she placed my tiny girl back into my waiting arms.  I now had both babies against my breast and I breathed a sigh of incomprehensible relief, whispering a prayer of gratefulness to my God who keeps His promises! 

 “He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those who walk blameless for He guards the course of the just and He protects the way of His faithful ones.” Proverbs 2:7,8

 Paul Little in “How to Give Away Your Faith”, wrote, “The statement that God is in control is either true or it’s not true.  But if it is true and we accept God’s revelation of Himself, our faith enables us to enjoy and rest in the certainty of His providence (will),” regardless of the circumstance!  I stood up and turned to face my new reality and walked through the door of my brand-new jungle life!

 It was good it was too dark to know who had inadvertently brought such distress to my spirit that night…but bless her, that same person had been used to quickly bring me to the throne of Grace for a thorough evaluation of my personal commitment to His “calling”! 

 Gratefully, as a young mother, I was given the opportunity very early to place my heritage in the hands of an all-knowing God.  He had again asked me to “count the cost”.  I stopped wanting to “skip” life-lessons and began embracing them. I claimed those powerful promises in the Word that had always been applied to others and now…were all mine!

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Posted on June 12, 2023 and filed under womanhood, motherhood, Being a Wife, spiritual growth.

Jackie's Journey "Point of Decision!"


Taken just before leaving for our village…Christina (three years) and Kim (4 months)

 I was reminded recently of a lesson God gave me many years ago that “whoever listens to me(God speaking) will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.” Proverbs 1:33  What a promise!  And I was listening and banking on it, as we loaded into in a long dug-out canoe bound for a small Indian village 8 hours upriver, buried in the deep Darien jungle.  It would take a day’s journey winding up the Tuira river and the heavens just opened up with a driving rain storm with the river rising by the hour! It was to be our introduction into our new life among the indigenous Kuna’s who lived at the headwaters of the Pucuro River near the Colombian border of Panama. 

The Tuira River

 Hang on to your hats…this was one day in my life I could have skipped! 

Ever had those days???

 Dusk was cascading over the torrential waters, enveloping our dugout into the dark silence of the unknown jungle.  Along the mangrove-lined shoreline we could hear twigs breaking and see shadows of what appeared to be dark, naked bodies racing us to the remote landing in the deep stillness.

 For eight hours we had traveled upriver unceasingly, pressing on against the rapidly rising flow of the Tuira River through lightning bolts, thunder and rain.  The river had risen 8 feet as we fought the current in our long journey up the contiguously inaccessible jungle waters.  Our goal to reach this isolated Indian village on the Colombian border in Panama was now within our reach!

 Underneath the makeshift tarp that protected us from the worst of the violent storm were two little girls.  One, almost three, was exceedingly excited and could not wait to get out of the wet boat and the other, just a few months old, was securely wrapped in my arms.  Our piragua was piled high with everything we would need for the next six months!

 The boat brusquely hit the bank and as I stood, dripping wet, hungry and tired, I came face to face with all the unknowns that had brought us to this sandy beach. Without warning, the warm little bundle in my arms was tersely yanked from me and quickly disappeared into the darkness of the night!!  I, immediately, grabbed my once excited and happy three-year-old by the hand.  She was now very confused.  Her contentment was exchanged for eyes full of fear!  I pulled her close to me and began calling for my baby…

 In that instant, the crowd pushed and shoved us up a short trail that led to our mud-floored, bark-walled house.  My insistent calls for my lost child were ignored and unanswered. 

 As I stepped over the threshold of our unfinished new home, the rats…at least I prayed they were rats!... scurried among the barrels that had been sent a month ahead of us and now stored our rice and dried beans in the very open tin-roofed room.  The sound of rain on that roof was deafening!

 My worst fear had come upon me…Job 3:25,26.  I screamed again into the crowd for my tiny daughter and again received no response.  I lifted my three-year-old into my arms and determinedly turned to walk back through the crowd down to the river’s edge!

Where had my baby gone?   Who had taken her?!

   Immediately, my panic turned to terror…

 The familiar promise in Proverbs 1:33 eluded me.  “…whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

 What was happening?  Why had God allowed this?

  I was instantly reminded that there are three Biblical Principles regarding trials:

 1.   Trials are common to all of us.  No one escapes unscathed. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to men.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  No excuses and no victims here! The real question is not why, but “Why not, Jackie, don’t you trust me?!  I will never leave you or forsake you…listen to ME, not your circumstances!

 2. Trials are given with divine purpose and will pass.1 Peter 1:6 “In this you may greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.”

 3. Trials are life-lessons NOT to be wasted!  James 1:4 “...perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

 C.S. Lewis wrote in “The Great Divorce”, “There are two kinds of people:  Those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your own way.’”

 I was standing at the point of decision! My options were limited…

What is your attitude toward the trials in life?  Which kind of person are you?

 

Join me next Monday for my decision…think about yours…

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is mentoring and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights.