Jackie's Journey: Snakes!

I have never been a fan of reptiles!

Panama is the home to some of the most frightening snakes on the planet.  Our corner of the dense jungle was full of boa constrictors, pit vipers, fer-de-lance (this snake bears 60 live babies at a time!), etc.  We were cautious not to poke under rocks or fallen branches, always scanning for any slithering menaces.  Behind our house there was a massive tree that extended its immense roots out into the river shoreline where the girls and I bathed and swam.  The thick mangrove swamp harbored snakes that would lie in the hollow places of the trunk of that tree.  

More than once I cried out Psalm 16:1

 “Keep me safe, Oh Lord, for in you I take refuge.”

Fear is no stranger to me.  I am habitually challenged to walk through the door of fear.   I was told during Missionary boot camp that courage was not the absence of fear, but the conquest of it.  Years ago, while reading Hind’s Feet on High Places, I had no difficulty in identifying with “Little Much Afraid”! 

“The highway of fear is the shortest route to defeat”.  William L. Brownell

Ralph had built a screened-in back porch to the house.  It became home for our gasoline-run wringer washing machine.  The Indians thought the machine was the most ridiculous apparatus.  It was noisy, the water had to be carried from the river (or in rainy season, we could utilize the convenience of the rain barrels).   The agitator was a mystery (why would you jerk clothes around in dirty cold water when the river is running and clear!) however; the wringer was another story…it worked really well.  Hand wrung clothes could not match that wringer!  I had to agree with them on all counts!  

While I washed, Kim would play on a blanket or crawl around the porch.  The floor was slightly elevated, lined with wooden planks roughly cut and loosely fit together.  It was not quite finished and as I washed I saw Kim crawling toward something moving under the slats.  I turned off the deafening machine, snatched Kim up into my arms and yelled for Ralph!  Right under our feet, only a few inches away, was a 5’ venomous snake! He had quite possibly been a houseguest for “who knows how long” before we noticed him! Let me repeat…I am not a fan and I intensely dislike reptiles!

Arturo, our nearest neighbor had heard me scream and came running, He quickly surveyed our predicament, raised his machete and removed the head of that reptile with one swift blow.  He held it up like a prized Marlin…its length was above his head and its tail draped to the muddy ground!

This story could have had a much different ending, were it not for our Sovereign God, His plan and the life-lessons He was busy teaching me!  School is always in session if we have eyes to see it. The need to grow and mature will never end on this side of eternity. Fear has been my biggest challenge.  I am to fear the consequence of sin, not snakes.  Easy concept until put to the test!

“Be strong and of a good courage, Fear not, nor be afraid of them (in this case…snakes); for the Lord your God, He it is that does go with me, He will not fail me nor forsake me.”  Deuteronomy 31: 16

“I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.”

Psalm 34:4

What do you fear?

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a Spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. 

Jackie's Journey: Courageous....I Am Not!

Once upon a time a family embarked on their first vacation that was not directly connected to ministry.  This is significant because they found themselves in the middle of a huge lake on a 75’ houseboat with six bedrooms; three bathrooms and a massive open kitchen/dining/living room, a Jacuzzi, and water slide on the second story!   The amenities are mentioned here because this family was flabbergasted at the comfort and convenience.  They could have moved in permanently!  

We are that family and this houseboat was perfect for all of us!

We had arrived the evening before and boarded just in time to load our things and find a place to fall asleep.   Some slept on the upstairs deck watching shooting stars, while others found comfy bedrooms.  Early the next morning, we headed out onto the lake.  

Ralph, my husband, Philip, my son-in-law, and I took the houseboat and everyone else loaded into the Ski boat to find a place to moor both boats for the week.  We got a late start and headed in the direction of a specific cove that had been pointed out to us on a map because we were so large and it would give us the best protection from the elements (wind, storms) that we were warned popped up unexpectedly.

We passed the entry to our cove and circled around…we missed it again…and again…  It all looked the same to us.  The sun was beginning to slip behind the mountains.  Darkness was now pressing in on us.  Somehow we had gotten separated from the Ski boat.  We needed to find our destination.  Adding apprehension to my new set of unknowns was the need to find that Ski boat!  The wind was kicking up and dusk was riding on it.  We needed both boats anchored on a sandbar and there was only one that would meet the need we had for our floating ark!  

I would like to think that I am a brave and courageous person.  After all, I had taken our two year old and delivered our second child in a foreign country as a young missionary.  I left the familiar and comfortable to live among an unreached tribe in the middle of a remote jungle.  When there was no one to suture a machete wound, give T. B. injections or deliver babies, I, with fear and trembling, stepped up to the plate!  So I must be courageous…right?

Courage is the strength from God that enables us to endure any circumstance, trial or danger with gratefulness, understanding His sovereign will.  It is demonstrating the confidence that harmonizing with God’s will brings ultimate victory regardless of present circumstance or opposition. 

“Deut. 31:6“Be strong and of good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord your God goes with you; He will not fail you, nor forsake you.” 

God miraculously guided us into the exact place on the map that was the only “secure” spot for our houseboat!  The boys jumped off and took the iron stakes, crossed them and anchored them deep in the sandbar.  Hastily my grandson, Christopher, ignited the BBQ and soon we were settled in and looking forward to a Bible Study with Grandpa Ralph before we headed to bed.

Morning came early and everyone, except Ralph and I, loaded onto the speedboat to water ski, wake board, etc.  The day was perfect.  The lake was smooth as glass and our vacation was now in full swing.  We watched the fast boat disappear.  For hours Ralph and I enjoyed the silence and beauty of the lake.  Another boat had pulled onto our ridge sometime in the night and we were looking for an opportunity to meet them.

Out of nowhere, our solitude was interrupted by a swift and strong wind that came over the waters.  The waves were rapidly peaking at 5’!  Our boat began to sway and the moorings pulled loose from the sandbar! 

As the boat rocked… my first thought was,  “Where are the kids?!” and then…as we slipped backwards into the unknown lake, “Could we replace this massive beast if it crashed into the jagged cliffs surrounding it and sunk!?” 

Ralph was on his feet and immediately took off like a bullet!

On a dead run, he looked back and in an effort to calm my fears, yells over his shoulder, “Don’t panic, Jackie…safety is in the Lord”.   He jumps the ten feet or more from the boat to the shoreline and grabs the rope that has slipped into the lake.  All the moorings were now laying flat on the sandbar!

 “Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.”  Proverbs 3: 25-26

As I am drifting alone out into the lake, panicked and screaming for Ralph, the neighbors whom we had not yet seen came running toward our landing.  The man leapt into the lake and then jumped on board with me! He grabbed the wheel, started the engine and pulled us back toward shore. He told me to keep the engine running and keep it pointed toward the sandbar.  I instantly obeyed, as he disappeared to help Ralph with the ropes and re-pounding the stakes.

 His wife began yelling at me from shore to hit the sandbar as hard and fast as I could!  That was the easiest command I have obeyed in a long time…I full-throttled that ark up onto the sandbar, not realizing the job was so well done that it took eight people to get us loose the day we left!

The storm was raging and the boat was once again secured, but our children and grandchildren were still out on the open water!  Had they found refuge in a cove or were they trying to get back to us?  My comfort came again from a biblical promise:

 “Those who respect the Lord will have security, and their children will be protected”!  Pro. 14:26

 “Jesus Christ is no security AGAINST storms, but He is perfect IN storms.  He has never promised us an easy passage, only a safe landing.”   L. B. Cowma

Ralph and I watched across the lake… praying.   Within an hour we heard the motor and saw them coming in the distance.  They had fought the waves and strong current and God had brought them to us safely.  The stories they excitedly shared were a Grandma’s nightmare!

As quickly as the storm hit, the wind subsided and calmness was restored.  The next few days were a tranquil dream… and a memory that will last a lifetime.

“We shall steer safely through every storm, so long as our heart is right, our intention fervent, our courage steadfast, and our trust fixed on God.”  Francis de Sales

Lest I fail to put real courage in perspective, listen to the testimony of John Huss:

“When John Huss was about to be burned to death, they asked him to give up his teachings. Huss answered, “What I have taught with my lips, I now seal with my blood.’”

That is Real courage!

Whatever the New Year holds for us…let’s face it courageously…trusting our Sovereign God who is in control and calms the storms in life.

~Jackie Johnson - I am a former tribal missionary to the Kuna Indians on the Colombian border in Central America.  Fluent in several languages, my husband and I currently pastor a spanish-speaking church in Southern California.  My passion is discipling and equipping dedicated young women for life, marriage, motherhood, and beyond. I am the mother of two daughters and the grandmother of three Princesses and four young Knights. ​

Jackie's Journey: Scarred for Life

In the early days among the Kuna Indians in the rain forest of Panama, we found ourselves sitting in the weekly meetings of the “Congreso”.  It was here the Kuna leaders decided the village life and activities.  Occasionally, the Colombian woodcutters would join the group and then disappear down the Tuira River back into the jungle.

One afternoon we heard an outboard motor coming up the winding river toward our village.  I could hear the Kunas running to the shoreline and in a few minutes they were screaming for help.  The woodcutter had taken the motor covering off to replace a pin and had not covered the motor again.  He had ducked to miss a low hanging branch, forgetting the blade was still open!  The sharp edge of the blade had sliced into his face and the gash was long and deep, the cheekbone exposed. 

As he cleared the 12’ river embankment toward our house, I could see he was leaning on the men assisting him and there was blood everywhere!  Within minutes the entire village was in our front room, whispering excitedly, each seeking the sordid details.

There was no exaggeration here!  His cheekbone was protruding through the skin and the skin had slipped back toward his ear, leaving a huge gap.  He had taken the only available cloth in the dugout, which was loose cotton, and packed it tightly in the wound to stop the bleeding.

He was now seated on the bench directly in front of me.  He sat silently, calm and trusting.   Looking up, his eyes inaudibly pleaded for help and my heart stopped for a second while I contemplated my next move.  We headed for the rushing clear waters of the river to thoroughly cleanse the wound and remove the cotton. 

My adrenals were now on steroids as I mutely cried out to God for leading and direction!  It had to be sutured from the inside out or it would not hold together…I had sutured fingers, arms, legs (usually machete accidents), but never a face!  Once the gash was cleared of debris, it looked even more intimidating than before!  After a close examination and gathering up the necessary tools to begin this procedure, I laid everything on a cloth…and froze!

In that moment God spoke quietly to my heart, ““I have chosen you, Jackie…so do not fear, for I am with you; be not dismayed.” (Isaiah 41: 10)

I picked up the tweezers and began to remove the last of the stained pieces of cotton before scrubbing the wound and suturing the interior.  Just pulling the two skin flaps together was challenging, but the truth of the matter was…the scar was going to be massive and it was on a very handsome face!

It seemed like forever before I finally dressed the wound and gave him an antibiotic shot.  He never flinched or spoke a single word through the entire procedure!  My husband was sharing with him the entire time.  We prayed for his healing and he stood and left. 

He was not one of the regular woodcutters that lived outside our village, so I thought I would never see him again.

Months later we heard an outboard motor coming up the river and to my astonishment, God brought that young man through our front door!  We were thrilled that he had healed with no infection and the scar that was left was beautiful! 

He was grinning from ear to ear, and he laughed at my little faith!

I am often reminded of the day God “chose me” and told me not to fear, that He was with me and would do what He had called me to do.  Since I am a person whose battleground often involves fear, God’s words to me are profoundly meaningful!

What would you say is your battleground? 

Where are you struggling today?

 Have you identified a pattern in your life that pokes its head up regularly? Maybe it’s anger or bitterness.

Can you hear God’s voice?

when He speaks to you with

promise, rebuke, or instruction regarding your battleground?

John 9:31

Jackie's Journey: KIDNAPPED! Really?

Baby Kim and her sister, Christina.

Hang on to your hats…this was one day in my life I could have skipped! 

Ever had those days???

Dusk was cascading over the torrential waters, enveloping our dugout into the dark silence of the unknown jungle.  Along the mangrove-lined shoreline we could hear twigs breaking and see shadows of what appeared to be dark, naked bodies racing us to the remote landing in the deep stillness.

For eight hours we had traveled upriver unceasingly, pressing on against the rapid flow of the Tuira River through lighting bolts, thunder and rain.  The river had risen 8 feet as we fought the current in our long journey up the contiguously inaccessible jungle waters.  Our goal to reach this isolated Indian village on the Colombian border in Panama was now within our reach!

Underneath the makeshift tarp that protected us from the worst of the violent storm were two little girls.  One, almost three, was exceedingly excited and could not wait to get out of the wet boat and the other, just a few months old, was securely wrapped in my arms.  Our piragua was piled high with everything we would need for the next six months!

Jungle River

The boat brusquely hit the bank and as I stood, dripping wet, to face all the unknowns that had brought us to this sandy beach, the warm little bundle in my arms was abruptly yanked from me and disappeared into the darkness of the night!!  I quickly grabbed my once excited and happy three year old by the hand.  She was now very confused.  Her contentment was exchanged for eyes full of fear!  I pulled her close to me and began calling for my baby…

In that instant, the crowd pushed and shoved us up a short trail that led to our mud-floored, bark-walled house.  My insistent calls for my lost child were ignored and unanswered. 

As I stepped over the threshold of our unfinished new home, the rats (at least I prayed they were rats!) scurried among the barrels that had been sent a month ahead of us and now stored our rice and dried beans in the very open tin-roofed room.  The sound of rain on that roof was deafening!

My worst fear had come upon me…Job 3:25,26.  I screamed again into the crowd for my tiny daughter and again received no response.  I lifted my three year old into my arms and determinedly turned to walk back through the crowd down to the river’s edge!

Where had my baby gone?   Who had taken her?!

Immediately, my panic turned to terror…

The familiar promise in Proverbs 1:33 eluded me.  “…whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.”

What was happening?  Why had God allowed this? 

There are three Biblical Principles regarding trials:

1.  Trials are common to all of us.  No one escapes unscathed. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has seized you except what is common to men.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  No excuses and no victims here! The real question is not why, but “Why not, Jackie, don’t you trust me?!  I will never leave you or forsake you…listen to ME, not your circumstances!.”
2. Trials are given with divine purpose and will pass.  1Peter 1:6 “In this you may greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.”
3.  Trials are life-lessons NOT to be wasted!  James 1:4 “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

C.S. Lewis wrote in The Great Divorce “There are two kinds of people:  Those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says, ‘All right, then, have it your own way.’”

I was standing at the point of decision! My options were limited…

What is your attitude toward the trials in life?  Which kind of person are you?

Join me next Monday for my decision…think about yours.

Fear of the Lord

One Sunday, I looked at my family as we walked into church.  My kids and husband donned shorts on and flip-flops.  We went into worship in a casual setting with hands lifted high to our very contemporary worship and listened to our pastor, who was wearing jeans.

Of course, this scene is common now among churches, especially here in sunny Southern California.  However, when I was a kid, we wore long dresses, sang hymns and took communion every Sunday.  We were quiet as we listened to the scripture reading and knew that if we weren’t, my grandmother would hit us over the head from the pew behind with a rolled up bulletin.

While recently studying Psalm 34, I began to ask myself whether my kids are learning the fear of the Lord.  Am I a woman who fears the Lord?

When doing my study, I researched the Hebrew word for “fear”. In this particular Psalm, the word “fear” stems from “yare”:  which literally means to be afraid, shake in your boots – but also to stand in awe of, to reverence, honor and respect. 

In the English language, we have many meanings to the word fear.  I can fear the rats in my home. I can fear conflict.  I can fear earthquakes.  I can fear old age.  I can also fear a great, awesome and holy God.   We do not have an equivalent word for yare in the English language.  It takes many words to make up for just one Hebrew word.  But because the Hebrew language was so clear, they knew that this word “yare” meant to know who God is – his power, his strength, his attributes, his greatness– and then not take him for granted.  They knew not to put God in a box because at any given point and time He can strike us dead. But even more than that, we must have an awe that the God of the universe loves me and is patient with me.  Fearing the glory and majesty, we cannot understand, except with respect and humility.

In Psalm 34, David invites us to come and learn what it means to fear the Lord because as we all know God says, “Fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”. (Proverbs 9:10, Ps. 111:10, Proverbs 1:7)

David commands us to fear the Lord (v.9) and then he promises for those of us who do, we will want for nothing.  I am reminded that this promise does not mean that whatever we want will come our way, but whatever God deems good for us.

There is a quiz in these verses (v. 9-14): one to ask ourselves.  How do I answer these questions?  They are all actions of personal obedience.  Choices we make.  How we own our life.

 Am I a woman who fears the Lord?  Let’s find out:

Do I keep my tongue from evil?  I want so much to be the woman who has no evil reports, who doesn’t enjoy gossip, who encourages others, who thinks the best of others.  This sin has been passed on from generation to generation- all the way back to my great-great grandmother. I prayed for this sin to be broken in me when I became born again.  I prayed especially for the generations after me.  If I am to be a woman who fears the Lord, then I must keep my mouth from evil.

Do I lie or do I deceive?  A woman who fears the Lord will not lie or deceive.  My dad was a General Manager of a car dealership for 35 years – need I say more.  I was a huge liar as a kid until I met Jesus when I was 27 and I did an about take.  But if I fear the Lord and the consequences of this sin, I will not tell a lie. If the Holy Spirit resides within me, I cannot deceive and get away with it. 

Do I run from mind-corrupting evil?  A woman who fears the Lord doesn’t dwell in the house of the evil one.  Are you cutting more and more of the world out year to year or are you letting more and more of it in?  Are you becoming more slack when it comes to the kinds of movies and TV shows that you watch? Are the books that you read and the music that you listen to glorifying the Lord? What has God asked you to give up lately for him?   For me to stay away from evil, I ask this question:  “What is right with it?” instead of “What is wrong with it?” A woman who fears the Lord runs from evil.

Do I do good? If I want to be wise and fear the Lord, then I will do the work here on earth because I love the Creator of the universe.  He is so patient with me and I deserve so little. He has filled His book, His Word, with practical ways for us to “act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our God” Micah 6:8.  I will do good, serving Him because I want to be His girl and will do whatever He signs me up for.

Do I look everywhere peace? Those who fear God run after peace. She looks for it. She is certain that as far as it depends on her, she is at peace with all people (Rom. 12;18).  Do I need to forgive someone?  Do I need to ask forgiveness of someone else?  Is my home and my life a place of peace or does chaos follow me? Do I strive for peace in all areas of my life?  Blessed is the peacemaker (a man who fears the Lord), for he shall be called a son of God. (Matt. 5:9)

But for today I take it to him “Lord, am I the woman you want me to be?  Am I a woman who fears you?  If not, show me the way!”

Jackie's Journey: Arachnids...Scared, But Not Defeated!

Washday in the jungle was an event, not just a necessity!  It required a trip to the river with two little ones in tow, a washtub (like great-grandma used) full of clothes, diapers, sheets, etc., soap and a washboard.  Finding a rock that wasn’t already being used was the next challenge after descending the 12’ bank!  The swirling river was the agitator and the most difficult part of the whole exercise was wringing the clothes tight enough so they would dry after being hung.

The Kuna women would laugh at me, while their little ones entertained mine by chasing, splashing and diving around us.  Those were the “good ‘ole days”.  One blessing, and their were many, was that my girls learned to swim like little fish very early, against the current!

If it was dry season, the wash would dry in 2 hours.  During rainy season we might hang the clothes two times or more in one day.  Most garments were mildewed and never really dried completely until dry season returned!

One spring day my clothes carried an unwanted visitor inside the house. We had open wooden shelves and as I lifted the last clean sheet, I caught something moving in my peripheral vision.  Now…let me be clearly understood…I will take a snake, any size, over a spider any day!  

This particular spider was a creature of undeniable presence!  I screamed so loud that half the village came streaming through my front door.  One look at the intruder and my husband and Arturo, our closest neighbor, told us all to get out!  Apparently, this venomous arachnid was dangerous!  I could not understand their hesitation in just eliminating it.  I wanted that spider dead…I did not want him alive for an encore another day…

Earlier that month our cat had found a huge, and I mean huge, scorpion under our bed.  I picked up my husband’s size 14 army boot and squashed it’s 12” body dead, in one fell swoop, as our 8 month old daughter came crawling into the room!  Now, “hear me roar”…I’m not kidding…I REALLY wanted that spider dead! 

Fear is our friend…it is an emotion induced by a threat, which causes a change in brain and organ function and ultimately a change in behavior.  “Courage is being scared to death…and walking through the door of fear to victory”.  (R. J., my husband)  In the book Hind’s Feet in High Places, I would clearly be little “Much Afraid”.  Shortly after being challenged to carry the name of Christ to unreached tribal people, I read in Luke 10:19 where Jesus sent out the seventy-two with the promise, “ I have given you authority to trample snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you”!  That verse immediately came pounding into my consciousness and I claimed that promise, given to those who take the gospel into uncharted territories.  As jungle living became my daily experience, I would often return to those precious words that brought peace that day.  Over and over again during those years of the unexpected, I would claim its truth when I was tempted to yield to panic.